Tired, lying manipulative SD
I have 3 biological children (23,10,2) and 3 step children(18,16,9), my two oldest children are from a previous relationship. His two oldest children are from a previous relationship. A year after we got married he was contacted about his child in foster care, and this is how we found out about his 3rd child SD9 and we share our youngest who is 2. The same month I gave birth to our youngest, we got full custody of SD9...everything was great and going smoothly, then it’s like a light switch turned on about 6-9 Months ago SD9 turned into a complete lying, manipulative A-hole! She lies about everything and anything. I can’t take her in public because there’s no telling what she is going to say to complete strangers or how she is going to act, we go out in public and she says something and all of a sudden I have people looking at me like I stole this child. She’s in counseling but I think it’s just made things worse! I have no escape from her! I’ve considered getting divorced just to not have to spend one more minute with her! When no one is looking she says things to my son, to get him introuble, she lies to his friends so they won’t be friends with him...she hurts my little and lies about what happened. She gets in her face none stop like she’s trying to kiss her...she has peed and pooped on herself and plays in it. She tries to force my 2yr old to lay down and licks on her face! My husband backs me up and gets on to her but nothing is helping her...it’s just getting worse! Up until yesterday she called me mom, and called my brother uncle... we let her talk to one of her sisters and she told her we force her to call my brother uncle and that I’ve forced her to call me mom... that is furthest from the truth!!! I have never hated a child until now, and it kills me inside to even say that! I just don’t want to have anything to do with her...all she is going to do is lie!!! I just want to get as far away from her as I can!! I told her yesterday I’m nothing to you and you are to call me by my name. If you want something ask your dad!! I don’t even know what to do anymore!! The way she rolls her eyes when I tell her to come eat dinner and force her to eat the whole meal, just to tell her counselor that she barley gets food to eat!! I’m so over it!
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Well, I assuming she was in
Well, I am assuming she was in foster care due to abuse and neglect. Considering DH didn't even know he had a daughter, and now she has no mother in her life, she's had an incredibly traumatic early childhood. This kind of behavior would be expected.
Find a good therapist and buckle your seat belt. Also find one who will help you not get in power struggles with her.
Oft. I'm not sure what to
Oft. I'm not sure what to tell you to do to fix all that mess. I feel horrible for you. I left a step-relationship, last straw being constant terrible behavior from skid with no end in sight and behavior escalating. There were never any consequences for bad behavior, bad hygiene, etc. I simply could not live like that and I wasn't about to bring my baby up with home life like that.
Your situation is slightly different because your dh is backing you up, but the result is the same. Constant, escalating behavior with no end in sight. Have you shared your feelings with dh that you may consider divorce to get away from her (and your children)?
How often does she see her
How often does she see her therapist? How involved is your DH in her treatment? This kid needs extensive help, not just a talk session twice a month. She also needs her dad to step up and learn everything he can about his kid's situation and treatment.
Since she was previously
Since she was previously in the foster system she should still have access to assistance from professionals there. I would contact them. They have seen literally everything and issues that shock and sicken you will not have them lose a step.