Being the natural pessimist that I am, I would want to have a dr's report in my hand before I stopped anything.

Make her pay - also hate to say it but when she dies is probably the only time that you will get consistent payments from Social Security - sorry to be mean about her but she really does not warrant much sympathy.

Also Elizabeth Edwards has terminal brain cancer and there is no date of when she is going to pass - you can have terminal cancer but it might be for years that you have the cancer - I know I sound mean but really the first thought out of her mouth I meant her mouth not your mouth is the CS - not how are we going to tell the children?!?!?!

Hmmm I say verify it before making any decisions. If it's true then my sympathy for the kids.

I agree with the above comments. Have proof. Real proof. Specialty doctors records. Whatever you need to have for real proof of this. I also agree about not telling the children. If it is true- I am so sorry for the children.

Wow, such devastating news for the children. I'm hoping this BM is not feigning a terminal illness only to avoid paying child support(CS). Seriously, why is she concerned about payments of CS if she's facing such a terminal illness. Even if she is telling the truth, I don't think it's a good idea to allow her to stop the payments. CS, is to aid in the support of the children involved & I know that the courts would not care that he or she was on their dying bed . . . they're only concerned that financial support continues for the child(ren). If you all agree to stop CS despite what has been ordered in court, the 2 of you are so wrong & if you're willing to do so, I suggest doing it the legal way & have BM file for a motion to change the CS order & to state her reasons why, then allow the courts to decide. If you suggest this to her, perhaps it will prove whether or not she has a real genuine illness that she's alleging. [SMH]

I think the saddest part about this whole post is that there are people in this world and for most of us that would be BM who would pull a stunt like this to get out of CS. It is sad that our first thoughts are not concern but that you need proof to make sure she is sick and we say still to pay. There was another thread on here talking about stepmother negativity - but I say how the heck can we be positive about our situation when the BM says she has cancer and then tells you to stop trying to get the child support - what makes these women nuts? Were they always like this because I am always asking DH how he could have stayed with her for 13 years with her being as batshit as she is today? He always tells me she has changed - maybe all of these BM's have been hit in the head and now are not right in the head - lol. Why or Why could our DH's not have married us first?????

Caregiver1127, I so agree with you. I used to actually get angry at my DH for having been in a relationship with a woman as nutsy, evil, & nasty as BM. I literally would become livid at the thought & then turned-off (if I must add, in all honest). BUt then I'd pray on it & ask God to help me release those negative thoughts. My DH says the same thing that BM changed after he ended his relationship with her. You put a thought in my head about this issue; I wonder if this same BM would be so understanding and/or willing to do so if the shoe were reversed. Things that make ya say, Hmmm? If this father was the one paying CS to this BM & he was diagnosed with a terminal illness, will stopping CS payments be one of her first concerns? [SMDH]

I agree with everyone and have this bad feeling that something shady is going on. As a cancer survivor and having had close family members die of it, I can say from my own experience that when you actually get a cancer diagnosis, terminal or not, the first thing you think of is spending as much time with your loved ones as possible, not money! I don't want to seem harsh, but considering the situation and this BMs attitude, I would expect actual documentation from a licensed doctor before I would believe it and I still don't think it has anything to do with having cancer! Children who have parents that are dying of cancer deserve the same care and funds that children with healthy parents do. Having a disease does not mean that you automatically become entitled to more child support! How are the two even linked? If she does have cancer, I agree that it is very sad and tragic for the children, but why should it affect the child support amount? I have permanent health problems as a result of my cancer and we don't lower our CS payments when we have extra medical bills! When you get sick, it does not entitle you to demanding other people's money! I had to have a very expensive surgery last year, had to fly out of state and all the expenses of a hotel stay/vacation PLUS all the hospital and doctors fees and not once did it even occur to us to take money away from supporting the skids. We scrimped and managed to work around the trip and arranging childcare etc...and it barely affected them, other than missing us during the time we were out of state. My husband could be working three jobs in perfect health or scraping a living off of disability in a wheelchair and it wouldn't change or alter the skids financial needs a bit, either way. They deserve to be supported by their bio-parents regardless of the home situation. This BM asking for what she wants and using cancer as a component of her approach is revolting to me.

If she really is sick, then it is appropriate of her to inform him and show documentation and discuss how her illness might/will be affecting the skids, but using it as a ploy to get more money is just disgusting. If she isn't dying of cancer then she is one of the sickest, most warped BMs i've heard of. Manipulating emotions and using a serious illness to gain ground in a custody or child support conflict is messed up and wrong no matter which way you cut the mustard. If she is really sick, then she needs to arrange for her own medical care, pay for it using her own resources and take care of and arrange for the care of her own children like everybody else does when they get diagnosed with cancer and have kids. I have had two friends die of cancer in the past two years (both under the age of 25) and outside of my personal and familial experiences, have a few friends that are in remission or currently in chemo. I would be shocked down to my toes if any of them brought cancer into ANY personal conflicts as a manipulative bargaining chip!

Well, I really hope for the best for the kids and as sad as it is to say, I really hope this BM is just a crazy nut because sadly, that seems like the best possible scenario here. Please keep us posted and try not to stress over this too much!

Yeah, definitely fishy. Our BM has been screaming she's dying for years, according to DH. Even tried to pull it on me the one time i spoke to her on the phone. I commented on the fact that she was ragingly drunk and didn't know what she was saying and she informed me that she is on medication, not drunk, because she is DYING *sniff sniff*. Yeah, 100 proof used to be considered medication but not these days. Her own son told her in my hearing that she was stinking drunk that night.

She uses her "medical problems" as an excuse to ask for more money, poor thing can't work, can't do anything for herself. Bull. I've seen her. She looks healthy as a horse, other than looking about 10 years older than she really is }:) -- I think she also has a problem that I am 12 yrs younger than DH and she was only about 4 or 5 years younger :).

Get documentation...then get second opinions. My aunt just passed away last month from cancer. Money was the last thing on anyone's mind.

I agree that money would not be the thing that would be brought up in the first conversation telling your children's father that you are dying. I would be suspicious.