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Trying to keep the peace

JustanotherSM17's picture

On Wednesday DH and I had a huge blow out fight about the ass kissing he has been doing with SD14. He continues to fed into her chasing game of daily phone called, daily text messages complete with baby talk and kiss emojis ... after our arguement he finally "saw" what I was saying , he agreed ge needed to let SD do the reaching out as well and said he would have a talk with her . Well per usual SD has been avoiding his phone calls, she always has a excuse for it . And yet DH is still there chasing her and it's pissing me off. He also agreed to tell BM next time she texted him that she needs to go back to emailing him to allow him to better communicate with SD (SD uses BM to communicate everything to DH) but I saw she is continuing to text him and he has said nothing . I told him how o felt about especially since she has done nothing but talk trash about myself , our kids and our marriage for a solid 4 years! I just can't help but feel upset about how this is all playing out since SD did her little "I miss daddy " episode to Bm, what has happened since ? Daily text and calls

from DH to SD , SD doesn't have to do anything . More text from BM to DH . I feel like I just want out . This little girl is never ever gonna learn how to have a healthy daughter relationship and DH will continue to chase her and it makes Me sick . I'm trying so hard to keep my

mouth shut about it but inside I'm disgusted 

Comments

Rags's picture

Whatever you decide, do not keep your mouth shut.  Every text and call ask him how his failed family progeny's ass smells.

Lather.... rinse.... repeat.

Sniffing her ass is his clear failure as a man, husband, husband, and father.  He is failing her, and worse... the is failing you and  your young kids.

 

JustanotherSM17's picture

Yup I told him that he was not doing her any favors by constantly chasing her when she has these episodes. She can text him ( he always initiates it) but yet she won't answer the phone when he calls her. She pulled this in the past and issues were forgotten about . I told him to back off on the text messages because if she can't pick up the phone when he calls but she can text , She can call him . He asked her tonight for a call back since he has tried to call her several times and not reply ! Big shocker!!! I told him okay there's your Q to back off! When she pulls the "I'm sad" stunt you know it's just that 

dragonfly878's picture

BM and SD are in your marriage because your DH allows it as he gets to be the missed hero- I'd take every opportunity to make comments "why don't you take this moment to talk to the prized pig while I put our litter to bed" (that's BM word- right?) "Oh DH I take back what i said about SD only coming around for a moneygrab holiday- I'll bet she really does miss you and will now follow the CO to the letter moving forward!!"

"you're only spending X on her Christmas?! (ghasp) baby girl deserves Prada!!!!!!"

or how about (excited voice) "I have an idea!!! why don't you, BM and SD start a family group chat!!!!! Label it 'first family' that way the three of you can all be together again!! Share old memories, make plans together- please don't even stress about checking in with me I'll take care of the littler so you're completely free to do whatever you want!!!" 

... then when she comes over I'd blatantly and obnoxiously, in baby voice, kiss her ass (in front of DH) "omg omg omg let me cut your meat for you baby girl shouldn't have to cut her own meat!!!" "Here- sleep in my bed- in my spot next to DH oh you miss him so much how about you two get a good cuddle in while I take our litter out for the night" (get hotel for you and your kids).

Lastly, I'd flat out refuse any intimacy as I can't be intimate with a man I don't respect and that would be completely lost after all of this... and I'd let that be known, too.

thinkthrice's picture

I'd just say "H,  you need some quality one on one time with (insert mini spouse's name), so I'm taking our/my kids out for a mini vacay at (insert local hotel).   Have a wonderful time!"

Then put your phone on silent.

JustanotherSM17's picture

Lmao ! Omg yes ! I love these alll! Last night he sent a text "when are you gonna call" like stop begging Jesus Christ ! Just say " you know what I have tried to call you , now if you want to talk to me you can contact me." DONE! I do not understand why that's so hard! It's something I would have no issue telling my own children 

dragonfly878's picture

Okay I've got you-

"when are you going to call?"

... in a panicked voice.... "OMG DH do you think something happened? Should we call the hospital near BM? What if she's sick? What if something happened? You should call BM IMMEDIATELY as there's no way she'd blow you off given how much she misses you!!!! THERE MUST BE A REASON SHES NOT GETTING BACK TO YOU!!!"

thinkthrice's picture

The more these dads "child chase" the more contempt and disrespect is what they'll receive in return.

JustanotherSM17's picture

Both SD14 and BM are extremely high maintenance. $25 chap stick and SKIMs , lol not in this house 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I'm probably going to h@ll for saying this but i just realized "skims" SD is the same girl as "chase me with baby talk Daddy" SD. I take back my previous defense of her Christmas list. Might as well go ahead and enroll her in OnlyFans. 

JustanotherSM17's picture

Yes I know it's confusing right ? I pointed this out to DH, the girl wants SKIMs yet she still wants her daddy to chase her like she is 10 and can't use the phone to call or text . When he called her last night and didn't answer she said " I can't talk right now l, I am applying to early college high schools" lol oh how grown we are huh SD, I mean does that even exists ? Ugh 

JustanotherSM17's picture

You know what is strange , my mother is dating a guy who has 3 grown children. 2 sons and one daughter and man the daughter who is 30 is a serious mini wife omg ! Like she is what I think SD is on her way of becoming! The girl plays the same games as SD and even worse! She is so jealous of my mom that one time she threatened suicide if my moms boyfriend didn't drive back to see her ( she lives about 2 hours away) I always tell DH is he doesn't her his act together with SD that she will just like my moms boyfriends daughter . 

JustanotherSM17's picture

Omg right . She has some stories to tell!!!! There are red flags everywhere and we keep telling her it will not change so get out now while you are just dating this dude 

Winterglow's picture

Stop keeping your mouth shut. Tell him what a turnoff it is when he keeps running after his kids for crumbs. Tell him you're losing respect for him. Be blunt.

JustanotherSM17's picture

Yea, I was extremely blunt with him the other day about all this and it was a huge ass fight but I feel like he sort of got it. Also since my mom's boyfriends daughter is basically acting like SD ( but she's 30) I use her as a example a lot and he sees how SD will grow up to be! I just really have no desire for SD to come for x mas to collect her gifts. mIL asked about her the other day and why she doesn't come over and DH covered for SD and said she has games , I was like " well that just started DH , she has not come over well before the season started " I think MIL is finally starting to see SD for what she really is and that SD doesn't give 2 craps about

them. When my kids tell me how excited they are to see MIL I always let her know, I think this has helped open her eyes a lot