Pow-Wow
My boyfriend told me of a pow-wow he had with the ex about my relationship with the kids.
She thinks even though the kids & I are golden right now, (open, casual & comfortable with few moments of hesitation),
"it's going to get hard & ugly."
This perspective is based on how they reacted to her boyfriend, who they see as the reason the family broke up. The kids see me as someone who helped Daddy stop crying, makes him laugh and is willing to get down & dirty involved in their interests.
I asked my BF if he thinks the kids will have such a negative response as she does & he said no,
BUT
we should know what to do if it happens.
I hate that.
I respect reality, I'm all for awareness. But let's look at it another way:
I simply cannot cure my cancer until I am diagnosed with cancer. I am able to take preventative measures, such as making informed nutritional decisions, but I cannot make something go away until it becomes a reality.
I love the kids, I don't see a problem & hope the parents don't invent one.
Am I too logical?
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Comments
Not at all.
I'm with you... why borrow trouble?! Enjoy it while it lasts. No one can predict the future. Continue building those relationships and see what happens. I think being proactive is great, but if the thought isn't in their minds to dislike you, then why on earth would you bring up problems to them that don't exist? I mean, why be the one to put that thought in their minds? Doesn't make sense. Sounds like you are already doing exactly what you need to be doing. Yep, consider all possibilities and try to be prepared for whatever comes, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
No, you're realistic
I don't see any reason for the kids to resent you unless they are forced into that position by the parent(s). Besides, you could never feasibly "prepare" yourself for something like that anyway. You guys have no idea what situations may come up or what the circumstances may be which would cause the kids to feel negatively about you, so there's no way you could "know what to do" if it happened. The only thing that you can realistically say you'll do is love them and take care of them because that would be constant no matter what happened.
That's my take, anyway. Like in my situation, SS and I get along great and have a wonderful relationship. His mother hates me, though, and tries as hard as she can to force him to hate me and tell us that he doesn't want to be around me. No matter what she tries, though, he still doesn't do it because he loves me. He just can't tell his mother that. But if he was to ever "turn" on me and start resenting me, the only thing that I can honestly say that I would do is continue to love and support him just like I do now. Anything above and beyond that is purely circumstantial.
At any rate, I have a feeling that this was just a result of BM feeling jealous that the kids like you but resent her boyfriend. I probably wouldn't even put too much stock into it. She was probably just trying to make herself feel better by projecting the same problem onto you that her boyfriend is having.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*