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Preparing mentally for Christmas visitation....

iwasindenial's picture

#1 - I know I have it easier than a lot of you because I do not have my skid with us very often (3x a year) because of the distance, but it still upsets the household. I know I probably shouldn’t complain since its “just a month” or “just two weeks”, but when our day-to-day lives don’t include a rude 10 year old, it makes it hard to adjust, it upsets the household and while she is here I have all the same problems you all have (won’t eat my food, won’t take care of her personal hygiene, the passive aggressive disrespect of me, ignoring me). Even if we start to make some progress, it all is lost by the next time she comes. I can’t/won't spend two weeks in my bedroom hiding, and my town does not have enough shopping to be gone every evening Smile Can anyone else relate, or have any ideas on how I can cope?

#2 – My Skids and DH don’t have a close relationship, partly because of the distance and partly because of PAS (in my opinion), the older two have aged out of the CO and who knows if we will ever see them again. We don’t hear from them unless they want money or something. DH never receives a birthday card, Fathers Day card or anything for Christmas, the most would be a text. When the SD10 comes for Christmas, do I take her shopping to get something for DH, or do I just let it go? Do you all take your Skids shopping for your SO??

Comments

iwasindenial's picture

Thank you so much for your response. It makes alot of sense. Since her last visit I found this site and have read StepMonster so I feel I may be more equiped to handle the situation this time, but I'm nervous and just want to do the "right" thing.

You are right though, I have felt walked on and taken advantage of, by all of them and I need to put a stop to it for ME.

Anywho78's picture

I feel for you with the looming visit. Mine are here 24/7 (minus 1-2 weeks during the summer) so I'm envious of the "breaks" that you get Wink

I take the SKids out to shop for their dad, GM & their special needs aunt. They enjoy being able to get something for them & I want them to learn the importance of giving/sharing. My SO has a few little things that he collects so the Skids normally have plenty to choose from.

If she's rude to you though, I wouldn't bother. I'm this close to shutting down all extras that I do for my Skids due to heinous behavior...we shall see.