They lied about me
this could a long story because so much went on but I'm going to sum it up . My step kids mom tried to put a restraining order on me and she made her daughter 11 yrs old lie about me in court on the witness stand that I grabbed her by her neck with my arm to get in my car. But the judge denied the restraining order because there wasn't enough proof . Mind you I would never ever put my hands on a child I have two kids and I don't discipline like that plus I have known my step daughter for 5 years and I have been nothing but kind to her . Any ways after there mom was denied she was very Angry both of her kids would not come home to their dad ( they have 50/50) do for 7 mos they wouldn't come home because there mom is manipulating . I'm assuming she made them bad because she is there mom and I'm not . Their mom lies a lot a lot a lot about me wanting to be there mom which I don't and lies that there dad is a loser but he isn't . Any ways the judge put in order that they go to therapy and in therapy they did the same thing lie about me and my bf . The therapist basically said nothing is going on because we are good people . But there mom says other wise .im writing this because finally after 7 to 8 mos his daughter wants to come back home . But I feel so angry and sad towards her . Talking about this makes so emotional because I never have done anything wrong to his kids if anything I've treated them like if they were my own because I never want them to feel left out . I don't know if I can be normal with my bf daughter . I'm thinking I should talk to her alone . I can't just brush it under the rug .... I hope this story makes sense . It could be longer but so much went on . It would be so long .
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This stuff is hard to deal
This stuff is hard to deal with (we dealt with it too) - but put yourself in this kid's shoes, being pressured and bribed and threatened by her mother to make her lie about you and her father. This is parental alienation, and it's child abuse from BM. It takes a really tough kid to resist that kind of pressure from their mother.
But that being said - keep your distance from the kid. Be polite and civil but don't get too involved, don't be alone with her, and don't confront her on her lying. As long as she is giving into BM's pressure, she's dangerous to you and to her father.
Thank you
I definitely agree I am keeping my distance which my bf doesn't agree with z I'm trying to make him understand my side and how this has and can affect my future especially with my own kids . I am terrified of the bm . I have been out in this situation. And never want to be in it again.
I’m very sorry you are going
I’m very sorry you are going through this.
Try and negotiate a couple of intermediate solutions that would suit everyone.
It also isn’t unreasonable to suggest that now is not the time to start playing happy families again. Could they video call a few times a week while all this stuff is going on.
What has your partner done to make sure this doesn’t happen again, does he have ‘your back’?
If this were to happen again you might want to reconsider being with your partner.
Thank you
He wants me to be normal with them if they were to come back home . The stepdaughter came Thursday for a visit with her dad and I stayed in my room the whole time . I can't look at her the same . It's sad I feel betrayed. He wanted me to hang out with them but I couldn't . It's very hard situations I don't feel like he understands. He says I'm not helping keeping my distance
Don't talk to SD alone
You have bio children that need to be your first priority. Don't risk child protective services being involved and at worst taking your kids away.
You need to never be alone with SD and if it was me would be asking for visitation to happen outside of the house.
This may sound harsh but you need to put your children first.
I agree
I definitely agree with you . That has been my priority now . I told my bf I need to step back. But he doesn't like the idea . I know I have done a lot for the step kids but I can't anymore . I believe this crap won't stop with there mother and refuse to be attacked by false accusation
Your bf might need to see the
Your bf might need to see the kids outside of the house, visitations don't need to be in the house. In addition if I had s boyfriend and his ex accused me of abusing children, I'd run and run fast becsyse there might be a permanent record about you being child abuser. No men worth it
I am so sorry this has
I am so sorry this has happened to you.
PLEASE protect yourself and your bio child first. No more overnights in your home AND no contact with you and your daughter either.
Your bm is a piece of work...sure are a lot of those just like her. I know this myself. Its mostly about power and $$$$ I am so sorry. So so so sorry.
Take back your power ok? Hopefully dh has already taken action in this matter.
It’s sad but true
It's true it's about money . She has told my step son she can't wait to take the daughter away so she can get more child support . I wish she was normal. I'm totally cool with my sons step mom. I appreciate her so much
Let’s think about this
11 yo SK lied to the court system about you. And we should put our selfs in her shoes? If you don't lie to other people it's hard to do that. You MUST never be alone with SD. Or you jail is in your future. Let DH deal with his DD, but not in your home.
If he can not parent his DD, to not make up story's, Then he has no right to bring you into this mess. Sorry he a crappie parent. But that on him, not you.
Abuse allegations
I take them very seriously. SD21 accused Dh and I of abusing her emotionally, and also accused us of abusing Munchkin SD13.
She is no longer allowed in my home. I no longer have any contact with her. She will text her father every now and then. She lives with her mother currently, and sd13.
Defintely approach your DH with the fact that your bios could be taken away. DO not ever be alone with the SD. Protect yourself and protect your bios.
When they go down this pathway, it only gets worse, not better.
I won’t ever
Her mom coached her to lie about me in court . I have already made it clear that I don't feel comfortable with them . I know this won't stop with there mom . It's just the beginnings :(