Sometimes the advice on stepparenting is to be more honest with yourself about whether it's the skids or your partner who is the real source of the problem.

True story.

I will admit I have been quilty of this. Many of us come here when we are frustrated... so when we are reading posts we are already in a hightend level of frustration and ready to unleash and are feeling strong opinions. 
however, I agree that sometimes we need to step back and look at things from a more compassionate  point of view. I include myself in this. 

I understand what you're feeling. I was taken aback by the tone of some comments to me in my first post but I kept re-reading all the comments and there were nuggets of (painful) truth in them all. The advice/insights were there for me to take and apply as I thought I could in my situation. Sometimes toughness is ...too tough, especially when I'm feeling so raw. But the reality check, the understanding was good and ultimately helpful. I hope you will find that to be true, too. 

As I read thru the posts, I see a variety of opinions,  ages, situations, viewpoints and ways of expressing them.  I actually think that's a strong point of ST.  I would read them all but you can tell which ones speak to your heart.  Just put the others to the side.

You are mad people criticized your handling of a global pandemic, which by the way, has nothing to do with faith or politics. It is a global health crisis where people are dying. Not like the flu. Anyone still comparing COVID to the flu needs serious education. 

I always felt that I was the evil one.  That I should be the perfect parent.  That a lot of fights was because of my fairer of being the perfect SF.  

Not until the internet and this board did I figure out.  That the majority of SP were taken advantage of.  That these bio parent had kids with SO. There ideas of. Happy Family did not happen. 
That they expected you the SP to buy into there ideas of a Happy Family.  That you do more then the BP ever did.  But that still not enough.   
It was ok when they had other children, with the bad bio parent   But once you were on the scene,  nothing was good enough.

That it was perfect right for SP to feel they were being used.  It's perfect right go feel jealous,   The bio parents had months or. Years of Kid free alone Adult time    But now you can't get any adult time, can get a weekend away alone 

So that being said. Sometimes we come on too strong with our comments,  but it's for your own good, it's go get you to think.  No one is attacking you.   We don't want to attack a SP. they have there own though time

I will agree that most of us come to this site when we are already frustrated. However, a lot of the "husband bashing", actually makes sense to me. I came to this site upset about BM. I was insulted by how rudely she treated me while she was hanging out at my SO's house rearranging drawers. I was upset that she came and went at random 2-3 times per day and that she called my SO up to 10 times per day. But, after reading this site and thinking - what the hell was she doing at his house so much? Because he allowed and encouraged it, that's why! Why did she call so much? Because he dropped what he was doing to talk to her every time. I did have a SO problem. I have an ex husband too, and my SO never had a single complaint about him because i set boundaries before my next relationship even started! It is the husbands who get us into these messes. 

I rarely come on here anymore, but I've read a few of your blogs... you're getting the responses you're getting because of what you're writing. I've yet to see a response from you that isn't defensive, this blog post is testament to your defensiveness. This is a public forum, save for following the boards guidelines, people are going to respond exactly how they want to. Perhaps instead of telling people to 'mellow out', you could take a step back and take a look at how you're showing up in the first place. 

Disclaimer: the use of "you" is meant in a general sense and not specific to OP or any other poster.

Take what you need and leave the rest.

You have to decide which responses are combative and obnoxious for sport and which ones appear that way because you are too raw to hear what is being said.

If one is truly unable to separate the two I would suggest a break from the triggers to address some well needed and deserved introspection.

A disagreement is not an attack.  A passionate plea from someone who identifies with you (or any part of your story) is not an attack.  A healthy, respectful debate is not an attack.  If you feel attacked in such scenarios, look inward.

If someone is being intentionally combative or obtuse, consider the source and take what you need while leaving the rest. 

Nothing happens in a vacuum, including responses on a support board.  It can be difficult to see that when emotions run high but it doesn't make it any less true.