You are here

Jerks didn't acknowledge my birthday

Inneedofgrace's picture

Submitted by Inneedofgrace on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 10:51pm

Second slap in the face this week... SS14 and SS12.5 (who are at BMs house this week) didn't call or email or text or FB post a happy birthday wish to me on my birthday. That's pretty crappy. They are both old enough to remember, and old enough to know better. I know so because they remembered to FB b-day wishes to their cousin (on BM's side, of course) who shares my birthdate. I just don't buy the, "They're teenagers... What do you expect?" excuse. Selfish, self-absorbed, thoughtless teenagers grow up to be selfish, self-absorbed, thoughtless adults if they're not TAUGHT how to behave civilly.

I've told my SSs, "Look, if you're going to reject me outright as a mother figure, then you have to treat me as you would a roommate. You wouldn't room with someone you didn't consider a friend, would you? Well, to have a friend, you have to be a friend. Friends don't do your laundry, they don't give you allowance, clean your room, or make your lunch. Friends DO ask about your day, spend time with you, listen to you and they respect your belongings and your feelings. So, since you've chosen to define our relationship as roommates, then you must treat me ago well as you do your friends."

(BTW, it's not working... But it SHOULD).

Comments

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:38am

I honestly couldn't care less if anyone said Happy Birthday to me. Birthdays are for kids as far as I am concerned.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 7:13am

I was going to post that despite how much I love my parents I still occasionally forget their birthdays...heck, I've even forgotten my husbands birthday. I'm no very good with dates, and I was going to say maybe your SKs are similar and not be so upset.

But I'd they remembered their cousins birthday on FB, I'm not sure that excuse will fly ( and if they are FB friends with you, a reminder that it is your birthday should come up.). So yeah, not sure there's anything going on here besides deliberate rudeness.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 7:58am

This is pretty standard. My skids never remembered my birthday even though it is three days after VD's (SD13)

Hell GG forgot my birthday twice. Another reason why I am exiting.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 9:01am

I think it's nice to send birthday wishes to loved ones, regardless of their age. Obviously there are adults here who would like to be acknowledged & shown a little appreciation on their special day.

We are always mindful enough to acknowledge DH's step-dad's bday (which happened to be yesterday). It wouldn't feel right to acknowledge MIL's a few months from now & leave him feeling forgotten & invisible.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 8:49am

Like some of the others, I've learned to fully expect to hear nothing from DH's kids on my birthday. That way, I'm never disappointed.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 9:11am

I would be hurt I think also-but I know people and kids can forget. Shoot I forget bdays a lot also.

THAT said, if they're wishing others and deliberately do not mention it? THAT'S JUST CRAP! And a behavior the dad should call them out on.

In that sense SD is pretty good-she's also very generous when it comes to giving gifts also honestly, both to my bios and myself.

For Valentines, Christmas, after mardi grass...just because lol. Seriously I can't keep up w/giving her that many-just not my style. Bday and Christmas.

She's given me some really nice jewelry pieces I use frequently also.

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 11:52am

Happy Birthday, INOG! Smile

I guess I'm with newwife, and don't really care. In fact, I never thought about it until now. But now that you brought it up, I can honestly say that 3 of 4 skids have never acknowledged my birthday... and those are the three that have lived with us every other week.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 12:40pm

Yes, Happy Birthday INOG! I actually prefer it when my teenage SDs do not acknowledge my birthday, because the times that they have, they give me some awful secondhand dusty thing out of the back of NPD BM's larder, or a piece of crap that cost £1. I take this as a form of aggression. I have stopped giving them stuff now, I just give DH a financial contribution to their present and make him say its from us two.