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What the hell is wrong with BM?

imagr8tma's picture

Well, DH was to have visitation this weekend with SD. Of course BM has decided that she does not want to drive again to meet DH as the court order states.... and withholds this weekend. Claiming he gets her the day after christmas.

The court order states 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends of the month. This year he gets the 26th of December until 3 January. So she starts with claiming a weather advisory was issued for our area and hers...... Which was a lie... it was issued for 3 hours north of us.

So DH called the lawyer's office there in NC - where BM claims it was snowing at 12 noon. Lawyer told us there was no rain or snow and advised DH to still exercise his visitation. So we drove and notified BM since weather was not bad he will still coming.

She then tells him - about he switched weekends weeks ago and must have forgotten... then says she has something going on at church and then says she was not going to drive three weekends in a row.

DH told her several times he was not giving up his weekend, and asked her to just simply follow the court order. Of course she then stop responding.

So we drove down to NC and waiting 45 minutes - got receipts to prove we were there, and no response from BM and she was a no show. SD then calls us from the grandmas house to tell us she would come next weekend. SO basically BM took SD to her grandmother's house for the weekend and just withheld DH's visitation cause she didn't want to drive as the court order stated.

SO NOW WE ARE FILING CONTEMPT AGAINST BM!!! We just left court 9 Sept with a new court order that states she was to stop alienating DH from SD and outlined the pickups, times, and the new weeks and holidays DH would get. BM was forced to sign a memorandum of agreement to state she understood this, and that any and all changes would have to be in writing and agreed upon. It further stated she would not schedule things on DH's weekends and that it did not override his visitation.

I can only wait to see what she pulls next week. I hope the judge is finally going to see what we were telling them.... BM is not mentally able to facilitate a positive relationship between DH and SD and some major changes need to be made.

Comments

imagr8tma's picture

Well we will see what happens.....DH is pressing forward with filing the contempt charge. we hope something will be done - it is sickening how she keeps pulling this stuff and the court has just slapped her on the wrist for 6.5 years.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

ohnoyoudidnt's picture

BM has been doing that for years and years to DH. Recently she started with planning stuff on his weekend which includes her other kids b-day parties and outings to other states.

Then SS13 says he does not want to come here and has gone so far as to tell DH he will lock the door and not let him in to get him.

Never a failure...Always a lesson

MiseryNMissouri's picture

BM is just straight crazy, i hope you guys do file the contempt charges, i am interested in seeing how the courts handle this..i am sure if your DH didnt pay child support they would lock him up and throw away the key...please keep us posted on how you proceed...has your DH already sent the paperwork or what is the process you followed...just crazy

imagr8tma's picture

At this point, DH has emailed a document outlining what happened... and the copies of receipts we had from purchasing items when we got to the exit the court order designates for pickups. One when we got there, one after waiting 30 mins and one after waiting 50 mins when we left.

We also have her text messages stating three different excuses why she did not want to come. AND a call back from the grandmother's house - where she left SD for the night - instead of driving to meet DH for his court ordered visitation.

Right now we are just waiting on the lawyer to tell us how he will proceed with the contempt charges paperwork. I almost want to wait until after the Christmas exchange on 26 December - as i am sure it will be some issues then as well. She is not going to want to drive to meet DH on 26 December - last year she didn't and she knew exactly what the court order stated.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

MiseryNMissouri's picture

Wow, girl it seems that the holidays bring out the worst in these BM's....hey i hope you and your DH are not letting this come between the two of you...Girl you know how i am, the more the BM does to us the more i love my DH even more because you know its all about jealousy and envy because in their minds we have there men...but at any rate make sure you stand by your man and tell him you love him because when my DH and I went thru somethign similar my DH never told me how much he was hurting on the inside...plus with it being christmas i am sure your DH will be a little down during this time not having his child...its a shame that is always the good fathers that get screwed...

imagr8tma's picture

Oh yeah I feel you.... He knows i support him 1000%. We are just bewildered that they just left court 3 months ago and we are right back at it again with her.

She really needs some counseling to get past whatever her issues are..... and really soon. Before her actions cause her to lose custody of her daughter.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

MiseryNMissouri's picture

well that is good and i cant believe that she tried this 3 months after leaving court, i would guess that she still has a thing for your DH and will stop at nothing to break you guys up...that is what my DH's BM is trying to do and will stop at nothign to do it...so just stand firm as a couple and that will piss her off the most.......i would ride with your DH on the 26th to pick up the child and just show that you and your DH have a strong front....keep us posted girl..

imagr8tma's picture

You would think that after she basically was put on "visitation probation" by the courts in September 2009 - and the court order was re-written to specifically tell her to stop participating in alienating SD and DH - she would learn a lesson and quit this foolishness.

I can just bet - if my DH were doing the same things - they would have taken joint custody and probably thrown his behind in jail by now without so much as a second thought.

I just don't get it. But then apparantely neither does BM. She feels like everything is to revolve around her and her feelings..... basically like the court order only pertains to my husband - and nothing written specifically for her pertains to her.

Just ridiculous! But i am losing my pity for her..... at this point she just needs to grown the hell up and do what is right - follow the court order. If you don't like it - then take DH back to court. But stop putting SD in the middle and stop blocking his visitation.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************