Estranged and Wow
DH has an estranged older SK with children he has never met (6 yrs old and under ).for Clairity never met the grandkids.
His oldest SK (who is the estranged kids sibling) just relocated near us.
There is a lot of sharing of conversations that are pissing me off. I think DH is numb to it.
They were both estranged until about 6 yrs ago DH tried one last time reaching out to both of them. The eldest reached back. We traveled up to her area and did dinners/lunch, etc and always invited the other one. The last time was told to stop asking.
Fast forward last week eldest is over having dinner and is miffed at sibling because now the sibling is acting like a victim that DH only reached out once.
I guess Sk forgot about being told to stop asking!
Honestly what's the answer? Damned if you do - damned if you don't! Oh and just recently we were told SK that is here is getting married next year and estranged kid is pissed DH is going to be at wedding. Bipolar much?
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Disengage
As aggravating as the situation is, the best thing you can do for yourself is disengage. I understand how hard it is to watch all this drama and see the unfair effects on your DH. There is not one thing you can do to change all this but for the sake of your own self, I hope you'll try to not react, not comment, just let it play out. When your DH talks about one of them, say "Hmmm", "Gee" or "Really?" Over time, he will discuss them less.
They seem to want some kind of response from him, whatever. The wedding sounds like a minefield. Is BM still in the picture?
He has not had any
He has not had any communication with that BM in years and years.
Disengage
SK seems to want DH to want them, so they repeatedly reject him as punishment. This is really abusive behavior but it's up to your DH as to how much crap he'll tolerate. You should disengage from it.
The wedding - I would go if invited, avoid the problem SK, and leave early.
Mine love to play the chase me game.
DH is very slowly weaning away from it. I think seeing my own grown kids make plans and stick to them has had an impact. It really is damned if you do damned if you don't with some of them. OSS is the worst. Plays hard to get then complains that DH isn't available. I'm hoping DH will one day finally learn he bends over backwards for nothing. It makes no difference. Zero.
They must want something
Or are guilty, Either way it's not your problem. A hello from SK doesn't open up the bank vault. Don't turn it into a money fest for GK. Disengage, they will be upset about something in the future.
This is exactly why the facts matter
And should be universally communicated within the family circle. So... toxic shits like this kid can't apply the lies of their self delusional selective memories to manipulate snd gain sympathy.
Bare it's ass!