SD is in 8th grade this year and will be going to high school next year. In my area, students need to go to the high school that is closest to their primary residence. Unfortunately the one nearest to where SD lives with BM will be closing within the next few years, so they were looking to other schools. BM somehow got it into her head that the high school near where DH and I live is the best one in the city (not true - it's ranked 5th or something) and so she just decided on her own that SD was going to go there, without consulting us. She said she was going to lie and use our address as SD's primary residence so that SD could go there instead of the next closest one to her house (which is a perfectly good school). The school by our house only accepts students out of their zone if they are enrolled in a specialty program, and sometimes they have to turn even those students away if there are too many students who do live in that zone, since they need to have a spot for them first. It's unethical and unfair to possibly take a space away from someone who has worked hard to get into a specialty program when you don't need to go to that school. SD can't enroll in any of the specialty programs either, since her marks aren't good enough. But still, BM wants her to have "the best education" possible, which is noble, but not at the expense of other, more deserving students.

BM said she would drive SD in the mornings (it's across town from where they live but on the way to BM's job) but that SD would take the bus after school, except for when there's bad weather. In THAT case, she had already given SD "specific instructions" to come to our house so we could drive her home. Sounds not too bad, except that to SD and BM bad weather means windy or slightly rainy. First of all, neither DH nor I get home from work until about 3 hours after dismissal, so at first I was like "have fun sitting on our porch for 3 hours, SD, because you're certainly not getting a key to our house. Then, have fun taking the bus home anyways because we're not driving you."

A more important point, though, is that I'm a teacher in the same board, and both my brother and sister are teachers at the high school where BM wants to send SD. Everyone at that school already knows that SD doesn't live with us, and I couldn't ask my sister and brother to lie if the topic ever came up again. Also, we have a morality clause in our contracts as teachers, and if it comes to light that I have been involved in a lie to the very board that employs me, it could jeopardize my career. I'm not willing to put myself in that position either, so I told DH he needed to tell BM we will not allow her to use our address to lie to my employer. He kept putting it off (because he didn't want to get into a fight with BM) but yesterday I told him if he didn't tell her that day when he was dropping SD off, then I would send BM an email immediately, and I may not put it so delicately (because seriously, who do you think you are that you think you can dictate who can come to my house and when?).

So he did talk to her, and luckily BM didn't fight him on it, but now she's looking at another school, still in OUR area, but not the same board, so technically it won't involve my particular employer. What doesn't she understand? We don't want SD "stopping by" just any old time after school, and just because it's not my school board, I STILL don't want to be involved in lying to ANY board! What is wrong with the school close to them? I did some practice teaching there when I was still in teacher's college and I found it to be a great school!

If BM thinks the schools near us are so much better, then why doesn't she move here? Oh right, because she can't afford it. The houses are very expensive in my area and BM spends all of her money on having the newest cell phones, ipads, cameras, camcorders, ereaders, game systems, etc. for all her kids and herself of course...and she wonders why SD took a tantrum because her mom wouldn't buy her a $1000 camera! Hmmm....