SS13 is back after a week at BM's. Last time he was here, after lying to DH about electronics, sneaking food into his room and spitting on the floor, DH told him that this week, he would not be allowed to go to the gym with BM. (The last few months, on non-baseball nights, he's ridden the school bus to BM's and gone to the gym with her. She drops him off in time for dinner. He loves going. No blue why, but we suspect he's getting fun, fancy snacks and sees friends.) SS was very upset about it and DH thought, "ah! Finally found something that might actually make an impact!"

SS's attitude has been awful for weeks. Yesterday, DH picked him up and said SS just glared at him and ignored him. The bus didn't come by this morning so DH took him (the school is very close, but on a major highway, so no walking). He said SS barely mumbled a word and didn't respond to the teacher who said hello to him (3 times) when he got out.

DH was set to talk to him about the attitude and rudeness after school. The bus comes by and -- no SS.

Both DH and I had the same thought: SS rode the bus to BM's instead. A few minutes later, yep, BM texts "SS is here." DH Said "what is he doing there?"

She asked him: "SSsays he forgot about the punishment, but I don't believe him." (That's a small miracle because BM usually believes every lie out of that kid's mouth.) Anyway, she said she would drop him off before the gym.

Meanwhile, SS texts "Can it be a different punishment?"

What the... Seriously?!?

As DH Said, the fact that he asked just proves it's the right punishment. He didn't bother to text back.

So, SS gets home and DH chews him up one side and down the other. SS said it was DH's fault for not reminding him, sobbing away. DH called BS (as do I). He warned him about attitude ("I don't know what you mean."), blowing off the teacher ("I didn't hear him") and storming past us to the car after games and not thanking people like my parents if they come ("I'm just there to play. I don't care if people come. That's their choice.")

It's the same old thing. No apology. No remorse. He never accepts responsibility. It's always someone else's fault. Even DH's punishments just roll right by because SS sees himself as the victim.

I really have very little hope for this kid at this point. DH confiscated all electronics and "fun" books. Told him the "no gym" is extended indefinitely. Basically he can just sit and stare at the wall. But I don't think it will impact him at all. It's DH's fault he rode the bus to BM's (of course he wasn't hoping she'd just take him with her -- why would he do that?). If he's rude to people, it's their own fault for bothering to come. It's not his fault he breaks rules and takes food upstairs. It's a stupid rule.

I'm watching like a spectator. But he's been here all of 24 hours and I already can't stand the sight of him.