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AM I A GRINCH?

goincrazy's picture

SD 17 (will be 18 in Jan) has not been a part of our family since March of last year. She moved in with us Jan of last year and when she went to her mom's for the weekend the beginning of March, she never came home. BM drove her to our house and she cleaned out her bedroom while we were at work and moved back in with her mom. BM lives on our support checks, and basically made SD feel like she had to move home, because they couldn't make it without her.

Here's my delima. DH dad is loaded, and every year at Christmas, he likes to take us on kind of a shopping spree. We get what ever we want and he pays for it. He says that way he doesn't have to shop and he knows we get what we want. Anyway, DH has not talked to SD since she left, and all of a sudden, she calls on Sunday. She wants to come and "be with the family" for Christmas because she misses us, and that she does not want gifts either. Has she not missed us for the last 9 months? I know that the reason she wants to come is because she doesn't want to miss out on "seeing" her grandpa this year. I have told DH how I feel about this, and he agrees to some extent. He thinks maybe she really does miss us, but a part of him thinks the same way I do because we can't trust her anymore as she has done this 2 times to DH. Should we tell FIL that she should not be allowed to go with us?

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

It's his money, he can spend it however he wants. If he wants to spend some of it on SD, then that's his call. You can tell him the situation and let him make an educated decision based on all the facts. You can ask that he take her shopping separately, due to the rift. You can ask that he take her AFTER the holidays and she how she does DURING them. If she's just there for the payoff, then you'll know.

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

Angel's picture

make that call. It is his money. Having an 18 year old SD living with you could be very difficult, be glad she's out of your hair. I'd keep quiet about this one.