i have a friend who is currently going through a VERY trying time with her H. i've known her for 15 years and when she started dating H a while back i saw some warning signs that he was a verbal abuser and extremely dependent on my friend. he isolated her from a lot of her family and all of her friends except for me. we went back and forth about it and i decided to leave it alone because i felt my advice was falling on deaf ears. anyway recently they got into some issues with infedility on his part..with M and F which she obviously wasnt aware of. i tried to get her in a safe place and help her look for any resources she may find useful during her difficult time. as the days passed however her anger subsided and it began to look as though a divorce was no longer an option and that she was considering staying with H. i began to back up and give her some breathing room because i was starting to feel i was OVER advising her and making her head even more confused than it already was. here we are a bit more than a week after she learned the disturbing news of her H's double life and i feel like i was getting overly intertwined in her life to the point of having a short temper at home. the entire situation with her just began to literraly make me ill to my stomach. i know she needs me but i had to take a step back this past weekend and anyalize what my role was in helping her and how i could help her without it having such a bad effect on my home life. anyway today i got an email from her where basically she didnt understand why i hadn't been there for her this weekend. she said she felt she had no one to talk too or no where to turn. i feel HORRIBLE AND SO SELFISH. but at the same time BF and i are starting counseling today to deal with our own BM issues. any advice out there on where to draw the line at helping a friend? i know this isnt step related but it's eating me up so bad...i feel very guilty and at the same time very angry that she may choose to continue her life with H when it isn't in her best interest or their childs...arrggghhh...i feel like i dont know my place and like if i'm not trusting her to know what's best for her own life. HELP! any advice would be appreciated.