Gloating WITHDRAWN
This is no success story yet... Sadly, what I described above was only a snapshot, a brief moment in time. SD9 woke up this morning hostile and passive-aggressive as ever. She puposely left her half eaten bowl of cereal on the couch, making the point that she is wasteful and uses way more milk than necessary in an effort to stick it to me. She knows how much I hate wasted food/milk. Then, when she walked out the door for school, she slammed the door so hard the windows shook. It scared the crap out of my 2 year old.
Back to my frustration with the idea that we have to be extra careful, overly sensitive, walking on eggshells for SD because she is "going through a lot." My bio kids never got such "careful" and special treatment. They would never get away with such behavior but SDs always do.
Anyway, guess I need to withdraw the "gloating moment." At my age, I should have known better...moments never last long anyway...
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You know, I see so much
You know, I see so much similarity in our situations. I also have SD9, also have to "be sensitive to her issues" because she is also "going through a lot". and I am so fucking sick of hearing it. Yes she is going through things, but who isnt? What about us? All the shit we deal with every day, all the crap we are supposed to take and not let it get to us? Just know you aren't alone. It seems every damn time I praise SD for something, i get jinxed and she is the devil in a matter of minutes. So I dont brag anymore, I dont say much of anything now.
Good point! I just learned
Good point! I just learned that I spoke way too soon, thinking she was coming around for the better. And yes, ALL of us are going through so much every single day. It seems we spend 90% of our time on SDs issues and cheating everyone else out of any normalcy.
Glad to hear someone else is sick of hearing "Oh, but she's going through a lot."
The problem is we make
The problem is we make excuses for them and it changes who they are the longer it goes on. She will stay like this if no one calls her out on it...DH and BM did that with Sk's and now SD16 is a a brat on a colossal level and no longer welcome in my home....
I have told DH, do not let
I have told DH, do not let her "going through things" become her crutch for life. Her bad behavior should not be dismissed because she is going through things. My SD's "things" are the fact her mom abducted her out of state for 3 months, then we got custody and get her back here with us. She is doing well, but is smart enough to know how to use her circumstance for sympathy, acting out, and to get her way. she is manipulative, I dont trust her much, but she is a child. I see it differntly than DH, I dont coddle or kiss her as though.
Ok I love that I am not the
Ok I love that I am not the only one that has a problem with the kids eating cereal!! SD15 uses a huge bowl and half a gallon of milk, then wastes it all and there is no milk left for BD4 to drink. I don't buy cereal anymore and I hide the big bowls just in case.
I wouldn't tip toe around her, she is not made of glass. Kids will manipulate as long as they can get away with it.
Excellent advice on the
Excellent advice on the manipulation and hiding the big bowls!
Life will not give you a break while you are "going through things." Instead, life will just give you another kick in the balls while you are down!
My mantra "your feelings and
My mantra "your feelings and your behavior are two seperate things". Nothing you're going through gives you the right to be an asshole.
Exactly, conforming! So last
Exactly, conforming! So last night I told DH, "She will NOT just go hide out in her room all night, give me glares, ignore everyone, and just be an asshole! She needs to learn to COPE and stop bringing such a dark cloud into our house."
Even though I really wouldn't mind much if she did just stay in her room all night, it's just not right or fair that she gets to hide & withdraw when she's "having such a hard time" adjusting back to the home she lived in and knew for half her life. This short summer visit really did more fucking harm than good and that has me so upset!
It drives me crazy that the courts say every kid has this "right" to know both parents. If one parent dies when you're a child, you miss out on that right! I mean, I get the concept and I'm sure that in THEORY, that is best. But in many cases (including mine) it causes more emotional issues and turmoil than benefits. I'm beginning to believe that kids who have a parent actually die are better at adjusting than these kids of divorce who get mixed upbringings and learn how to manipulate their way into different parenting styles. I'm sure it's very confusing for them, but at the same time, I AM FUCKING CONFUSED TOO!