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Do BMs Poison SDs?

Frustr8d1's picture

We have SD9 full time. BM hasn't contacted or seen SD for 3 yrs until this past summer.

How do you know if BM has told SD bad things about you? Based on SD9's behavior and treatment toward us after a relatively short summer visit with BM (first visit in 3 yrs), I'm almost positive that BM poisoned her against ALL of us. Suddenly, SD is mean to her half-sister (who she absolutely loved BEFORE summer), disrespectfull to DH (who she acted normal toward BEFORE summer), and a complete ignorant ASS to me (when she was all up in my face trying to seek my approval BEFORE summer).

It's clear to me that after a mere 8 week visit with BM and BM's loser brother, SD is a completely different person. Oh, what I wouldn't give to find out what they said to her and why she returned with so much HATE for all of us! :?

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Frustr8d1's picture

Good idea...Great idea if this child could EVER come out with the truth! I can't even ask her if her teacher complimented her on a good grade without SD stuttering and coming up with a lie!

We all assume that BM puts Bullshit in skids' heads about us. But, don't we wish we could KNOW what they tell them? Sad

Myself's picture

If these visitations are having a negative influence, then your DH needs to do what he needs to do......aka...stop them.

Frustr8d1's picture

Good insight, Myself. That's my thought exactly. Some kids are better off moving on with a new family & step than going back and forth in completely dysfunctional situations!

StickAFork's picture

I always wondered what BM said to SD. She would have these huge attitude shifts that just baffled us.

You know, going from SUPER excited about having a new brother to coming back and saying, "he's not really my brother." Huh?

Or going from being a well behaved girl to a holy terror and screaming, "You're not my mom! I want herrrr!" Ugh.

Sometimes I wished I knew for sure. Other times, I surmised. Now that she's grown, I have a pretty solid idea of what was said. I was pretty much right every time. SD eventually grew old enough to start seeing it for herself. Thank God.

Frustr8d1's picture

Exactly. It's like a completely different person came back to us after just 8 weeks. From what you experienced, I bet our gut feelings are correct. I'm pretty sure SD9 heard all the same BS, "She's not your mom." "That's not really your sister." "Your dad won't let me talk to you."

You're lucky though, SAF, I don't think my SD will EVER get it. She is beyond abnormal and completely lacks any common sense.