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New Lease on Life?...Naw, Just Renewed My Old One :-)

Fading's picture

Ok, my last blog was probably the most 'me' I've been in a LOOONNGGGG time. In highschool and before DH/SD, I was blunt, I was silly, and Honeybager didn't give a shit. Well, I've been so miserable for the last 5 years, I decided I'd try the old me again. Although, it won't help me deal with the step problems directly, indirectly it helps me relieve a LOT of stress. That last blog, albeit tame compared to some things I have said/done/typed, was like opening a pressure valve (or was that the taco dip from last night? eh). I've never been one to take life too seriously, but knew when I needed to be serious. When I started dating DH, I adapted a more serious persona because I thought that was how a SM had to be. Well, since the Skidmark doesn't give a shit how she treats anyone EVER, then I'm going to vent all I want on here and not hold back my thoughts and feelings anymore (and I may act a little mentally challenged in daily life when the stress gets too much). I feel like I've censored how I TRULY feel because I was afraid of how some of the Trollinators would take it. Well, Step-Troll-Beasts, *que British accent* I doth not give a shittith.

I've been through hell and back with this child. Many of us have been to our own hells and back with our skidmarks. You are extremely lucky if all you have gotten out of your skid is "I hate you" or "You're not my mom". I get a sneaking suspicion that I may not be the only one who places a black bar over my thoughts in fear of "ZOMG YOU ARE HORRIBLE" comments. Eh, yea, sometimes, I can be downright AWFUL, it happens, but if you are such a freaking saint that you feel you could handle my situation any better, bring it Barbie. Some of our situations are similiar, but none are the same and not one of us would know what our reaction would be to some situations until we've been there.

My Skidmark may be 7, but she is going on 700 in demon years. She is manipulative, knivving and skillful at her craft. She can make every minute miserable for anyone around her. I deal with her the best I can. I've disengaged...I've tried to get along with her...I've tried to help her...And still I get the shit end of the stick. Well instead of beating myself up with it every time I think about it, I'm going to turn my stress into a fun-filled rant. Whether it be here, in conversation or wherever the hell I end up.

I started this 'lease' on Monday. Thus far, I feel much more enlightened. Comedy has always been a HUGE outlet for me. Although my form of comedy tends to be rated R because well, I just can't keep the damn stuff in. Although I have refrained from using the dreaded 'F' Word (DUN DUN DUN!!) it is typically a part of my life, I use it frequently (when children are absent). I find that using the 'naughty' words, relieves stress all on its own (ITS TRUE TOO! Scientists have proven that the more you swear in frustration and pain, the more relief you may feel).

A couple ideas how this will work:
-Oh! Skid crapped her pants again....oh and it's on the floor...DH since you are her father you get to clean it up. Cuz genetically, it is also your shit.

-DH: Fading can you make SD and me some supper? Me: How's about soup with a straw? DH: No thanks. Why soup with a straw? Me: Because obviously you and your daughter have no hands to make yourselves some goddamn supper.

Ta Da!

Anyway, so far I've found this whole thing to be very...nice...like cuddling with a sedated panda. So beware all ye cuss-hatin, skid-lovin, BM-trollin hustlers....You may not like what you see }:) Cuz honeybadger don't give a shit Biggrin

Comments

RedWingsFan's picture

LMFAO! You, my dear, need to do stand up comedy or write a fucking book! I truly and absolutely enjoy reading your blogs and agree with you completely.

I had to find my inner "Detroit attitude" and bring it back to the surface. I am back to myself as well and more along the same lines as you with a I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ATTITUDE.

All these women that say they love their skids as if they were their own? More power to them. Does that make them better than me or anyone else that can barely stand the sight of theirs? Nope. It just makes them quieter!!!

Anyhow, glad to see the "real" you is out and about. Please continue sharing with us your innermost thoughts. I most certainly love reading about them!

Fading's picture

Lmao! I've done that too. To DH and SD...And some customers at work...AND random strangers in Walmart...

PeanutandSons's picture

Welcome out of the cage HoneyBadger, enjoy the sunshine!

I just might have a girl crush on you Wink

Stepcop's picture

Love., love, love... I have actually not posted in a while because I had gotten my hand slapped a bit over following threw on an ultimatum I gave my stepbrat. Some celebrated, others strung be up by my heels and tried to light me on fire. I just didn't have strength to fight on here and with my psychotic sd. It had happened in a few previous posts, I ignored it, but finally, after an attempt at logically explaining my actions, which in reality occurred in a very calm manner, I just stopped. I still read obviously. I will post a occasional at-a-stepmom! Hopefully your "coming out" will giving me some strength to post again. I know the support part was invaluable. Your humor is amazing, I imagine you are a very charismatic creature in real life. Don't damper that part of your spirit again. It practically shines off the page!