Well I knew there would be some backlash from court
I just didn't think it would put our youngest daughter in the middle so bad. Our oldest daughter had a volleyball game last night. Ding Dong decided to show up. Normally, I would wrinkle my nose for my sake, but be happy for our daughter. Last night though, I couldn't go because I couldn't get off work in time. My DH took my SD and my youngest DD while my oldest DD rode the team bus. Ding Dong showed up and headed for my DH. When he got there he demanded that my youngest go sit with him. DH said ok she can stay with you until after the game. No problem. Well after the game all heck broke loose because Ding Dong wasn't going to let her go. He grabbed her arm and said she was to stay there. DH took her other arm and said they were leaving (Now I have already addressed this issue with DH and told him he shouldn't have done this and why. He knows he shouldn't have added to it and has apologized to her). Anyway, DH let her go and walked away for a bit.
He then goes back after awhile and says we are leaving. Ding Dong then insists that they are going out to supper. DH tells him no you aren't. They weren't even playing at home. They were almost an hour away from here. Ding Dong calls DH an a**hole in front of my DD. He proceeded to call DH all sorts of other names and bad mouths to DD to no end. They ended up going out to the concession stand where Ding Dong buys my DD something to eat and then he leaves.
After my DH calls to tell me what happened I then called Ding Dong to find out what the happy just happened. I won't bore you with the conversation but needless to say it wasn't pretty. He proceeded to tell me that my DH will never be their dad, he shouldn't be telling them or him what to do, he doesn't care for them, I'm a bad mom for letting them think DH cares for them and on and on and on. It got heated and nasty. I will only admit this this to guys, but all my fears that he used to bring out in me when we were married came rushing back to the surface. To say that he used to hit me on a nightly basis would be an understatement. I am so thankful he couldn't see me cowering on the other end of the phone.
Anyway, during the conversation it came to me just how much he hates the idea of my DH raising "HIS" girls (I knew this but didn't realize just how much). I also (thanks to you guys again) saw some pretty clear signs of NPD. No one not even the court will tell him when he can see "HIS" girls or for how long. No one can do a better job then him in raising them, everyone else but him is in the wrong and he is the one who always gets screwed over.
I am going to see about getting a counseling appointment for the girls. I am also going to go to a parenting class and get my certificate and file it with the courts. We never had to do that when we divorced 9 years ago but this judge is big on them so I'm getting a jump start. Maybe I'll get an idea on how to deal with him.
Thanks for listening to me. It helps just to write out my frustration.