Well I knew there would be some backlash from court
I just didn't think it would put our youngest daughter in the middle so bad. Our oldest daughter had a volleyball game last night. Ding Dong decided to show up. Normally, I would wrinkle my nose for my sake, but be happy for our daughter. Last night though, I couldn't go because I couldn't get off work in time. My DH took my SD and my youngest DD while my oldest DD rode the team bus. Ding Dong showed up and headed for my DH. When he got there he demanded that my youngest go sit with him. DH said ok she can stay with you until after the game. No problem. Well after the game all heck broke loose because Ding Dong wasn't going to let her go. He grabbed her arm and said she was to stay there. DH took her other arm and said they were leaving (Now I have already addressed this issue with DH and told him he shouldn't have done this and why. He knows he shouldn't have added to it and has apologized to her). Anyway, DH let her go and walked away for a bit.
He then goes back after awhile and says we are leaving. Ding Dong then insists that they are going out to supper. DH tells him no you aren't. They weren't even playing at home. They were almost an hour away from here. Ding Dong calls DH an a**hole in front of my DD. He proceeded to call DH all sorts of other names and bad mouths to DD to no end. They ended up going out to the concession stand where Ding Dong buys my DD something to eat and then he leaves.
After my DH calls to tell me what happened I then called Ding Dong to find out what the happy just happened. I won't bore you with the conversation but needless to say it wasn't pretty. He proceeded to tell me that my DH will never be their dad, he shouldn't be telling them or him what to do, he doesn't care for them, I'm a bad mom for letting them think DH cares for them and on and on and on. It got heated and nasty. I will only admit this this to guys, but all my fears that he used to bring out in me when we were married came rushing back to the surface. To say that he used to hit me on a nightly basis would be an understatement. I am so thankful he couldn't see me cowering on the other end of the phone.
Anyway, during the conversation it came to me just how much he hates the idea of my DH raising "HIS" girls (I knew this but didn't realize just how much). I also (thanks to you guys again) saw some pretty clear signs of NPD. No one not even the court will tell him when he can see "HIS" girls or for how long. No one can do a better job then him in raising them, everyone else but him is in the wrong and he is the one who always gets screwed over.
I am going to see about getting a counseling appointment for the girls. I am also going to go to a parenting class and get my certificate and file it with the courts. We never had to do that when we divorced 9 years ago but this judge is big on them so I'm getting a jump start. Maybe I'll get an idea on how to deal with him.
Thanks for listening to me. It helps just to write out my frustration.
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Oh Wow! What and as to do
Oh Wow! What and as to do that in front of the Kids. I feel for your DH now. I've always been afraid that that very thing would happen between BM and my self over ss. Our Bm has sv but she can go to school activies. The thing is our school is so small that the sports are put on by other organization. SO she can't come to them because they are not sponsored by the school. Bm tried to use this as a way to get around the sv. It back fire cause DH told her that it is not a school event. Dh didn't say he would call the law. But the implication was there for her to take however she wanted to. BM has warrants out for her arrest. So we don't look for her to try it.
Make sure that your DH has a
Make sure that your DH has a copy of your divorce decree...especially stating who has visitation what nights, just in case he needs it if you aren't around and bio-dick acts up like that.
I will do this!!! Thank you.
I will do this!!! Thank you. I carry a copy with me, but hadn't thought about having DH carry one as well.
Oh dear, I can so relate to
Oh dear, I can so relate to what you're going through that I could have written what you just wrote. Fortunatly the courts did see that my ex was unstable (years of drug use can do that to a person) and I had full custody and my ex had supervised visitation 2 weekends a month. My ex's parents were supposed to be doing the supervising but that isn't how it worked out because they didn't see their son as troubled. My ex would also take me to court on a yearly basis and when I pointed out to the judge in the ninth year after our divorce that my ex was using the courts as a weapon against me, she reveiwed our file and said, "yes, I can see that" and then ordered my ex to be careful of any future filings as she would be watching wasn't going to allow him to use the courts like that. Thankfully, those years are behind us. FOr you, all I can suggest is to document EVERYTHING and have as much back up support as possible. Good luck dear!
My last judge was just
My last judge was just catching on to Ding Dong's games but we lost her during elections in November when she moved up the judge's ladder. Starting with the first court appearance for Ding Dong'd latest charges in December, we have a new judge to break in.
My ex had SV for about 6 months as well with his mother doing the supervision. That was a joke. She was an agitator, never happy unless she was starting trouble.