What happens when skids are 12?
I have seen a few mentions on people's blogs about how their skid is 12 and can thus decide things, or waiting til skid turns 12.
Does anyone have more experience/information on what exactly happens when they are 12? Does this mean that they can just say, I want to live with mom/I want to live with dad, and they get to? What effect does this have on custody agreement?
Or, does this just mean that you can go to court to try to get custody modified, and skid's wishes will be factored in?
I am unhappy with our current arrangement and SD is now 12... would like to know if skid herself has any say in the matter. Not that I think BM would stand for it, but still.
- ErinOnTheEdge's blog
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You need to contact a lawyer
You need to contact a lawyer and find out what the age is in your state and what you need to do if your SD wants to live with you and your DH - I think the age is 13 or 14 in most states!!
It has always been my
It has always been my understanding that the child never has the right to choose. They have the right to be heard perhaps after a certain age, but you will all still have to go to court, have a custody battle, and the judge will make a decision. Unless it is something the parents work out themselves.
What happens when the skid
What happens when the skid turns 12? My skid is 11.11 years old and I hope the answer to your question is...HE GOES TO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHER! I really don't know the law, heard unofficially that in our state a kid can choose at 12. That's what BF has heard and has kissed kid's ass for 3 years so he won't choose his mother over himself. I am sure it isn't so easy as letting a 12 year old make the rules...but I could use some clarity too. Maybe if BF knew the laws, he could start parenting and stop buddying. I am sure any day a pony, puppy and promise for a corvette at 16 will be arriving on the doorstep.
Gaaah that sounds terrible
Gaaah that sounds terrible forever2. Sounds like it's not that simple and BF ought to know that...
Thanks guys, that clears it
Thanks guys, that clears it up... good to know.
that's terrible!!! I don't
that's terrible!!! I don't think a 12 year old really can have completely independent specific wishes. Seems like they would be getting guilt trips galore from the BM. I know that my SD feels uncomfortable to the point of never being able to say to her mother anything such as "No, I don't want to stay here an extra two hours with you, I want to go back to dad's house at the normal time." Much less have to completely decide on her own.
No bashing! This is exactly
No bashing! This is exactly what I wanted, to get different people's views on the subject.
contact an attorney and check
contact an attorney and check the laws in your state. most states will "hear" a child's wishes when they turn 12 about whom to live with, visitation, etc, however if the child is not prying, i would leave it alone.
my skids were thinking about testifying to live with us cause we are more lenient (to a degree) and push sports more than their mom does, but of course when push comes to shove they don't admit this to their mom. my dh has told them if they change their mind after the modification is done (in the middle of one) then they will have to talk to their mom and convince her to "volunteer up" her custody to us, we will not fight or persue it again in court against her (unless she becomes unfit)
*APPLAUSE* Can't say much
*APPLAUSE*
Can't say much else... I totally agree.
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