Visiting in-laws
This weekend DH and I took a day to visit the in-laws-(DH Father and Sister and my Brother and Sister in-law) -Without SS16 Zippy.
Zippy is now working part time and having a rare overnight visit with BM this past weekend-so I have seen him a total of 5 hours in three days-not bad!
Zippy has been making waves re his bedtime at 16-DH got the "none of my friends (all two of them) have a bedtime at 16, period, why do I have one?
1. He cannot get himself up in the morning
2. He cannot put himself to bed (will fall asleep in front of the video game he is playing downstairs rather than go to bed).
3. Will not shower, brush teeth, wash his face-anything to do with hygene without being told by DH daily (you cannot trust him to do it on his own).
4. Zippy will not "think for himself" as he has never had to.
DH to his credit, says:
"Until I see some maturity, consistently in the areas stated above, you bedtime will remain the same".
Zippy as per his pattern-is excellent the day before we go visiting-got himself up and out for work an hour before he had to (not ten minutes before he has to be there) and was somewhat organized for his BM visit.
DH sees this and of course the Red Sea has parted for the second time in history and Zippy has "Finally Heard DH" on this issue.
Of course he passes on the wonderful news to all the in-laws (insert eye rolling here)-
We get home to find Zippy has forgotten his meds and cleaners for his acne (he will be in full bloom by the time he gets home today) -has NOT studied for his exam at noon today AND booked himself to work until 10:00pm tonight with an exam tomorrow. DH is going to be Sooooo happy.....
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Comments
DH Family
Blames Fruitloop BM for Zippy's "lack of coming of age", They think DH is trying his best and maybe I can "help" him get Zippy on track-my side cannot believe that Zippy's BP's have let this go on so long.
Zippy wants to remain an infant for Daddy to fawn over and cuddle and have all the privileges of an adult around the house.
Stay tuned....
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
INCREDIBLE
I am sure that DH did not get away with what zippy did/does as a child and DH turned out alright -yet, our DH's will let this inexcusable behavior go on??
talk about blinders.
makes you want to hit them in the head with a HUGE frying pan and say WAKE UP!
you can only blame other people for so long..
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
I can relate
to your #1 issue, not getting himself up in the morning.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
It's a pain!
To have to follow up 24/7 on a perfectly capable young person! I think part of the reason these issues bother me is that my Biokids pulled this crap and I had to consistently follow up and follow through (until I nearly lost it!) and DH just refuses to do this -here's the key-consistently-
My kids finally figured out how tenacious I could be and to avoid the unpleasant aftermath they simply started following the house rules. We don't expect "little soldiers"-just some common sense clean/pick-up after yourself, be semi polite (hi/bye), school is your job, get yourself up and to bed at a reasonable hour-if this is draconian parenting my kids must have been in the Tower of London!
I think Zippy is ultimately lazy and that is why he acts like a helpless baby-to get people to think for him!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
In laws
of course they figure you can help out but as soon as you actually put some rules up and if you were to take charge then you would be the bad guy! Then it would be poor Zippy!!! He has had it so hard, he's just a kid, blah blah blah blah. I got that from my own parents about my own kid and for awhile there when he went in to the video game phase he wasn't taking a shower, brushing his teeth, etc., I would go talk to him and his breath would just about knock me over. I understand what you are going through. Uck!