new SM
just getting started on this blog. BD and I have just bought a house a moved in with his kids ss6 and sd9 living with us 60% of the time. Im going to jump in and ask for help. How do SM's handle disciplining unruly skids. I've already raised my kids, bd22 and bs17...they don't live with us, but I've never come across such unruly disrespectful kids as my skids. I've known them for 4 years, I'm no stranger to them or parenting...i'm at a loss (of patience mostly) any suggestions?
- do-over's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Tranquilizer guns?
Tranquilizer guns?
If your DH doesn't back your
If your DH doesn't back your discipline, you'll have big problems. How is he with the skids?
I wish you all the luck in
I wish you all the luck in the world. It really depends on how your husband wants you to be involved. When I married my husband I was under the assumption ( we had also discussed it as well) that when they were at our house I could ask them to do chores and if they did something that I did not approve up then I could get on to them. Well, it was just peachy at first and the new wore off of it. My husband started questioning the chores I gave them (it was making a bed up after the sd slept in it.) The sd had went to my husband behind my back and told him she didnt have to do it at her moms so why should she have to do it hear. Then after that it was down hill. Now, I talk to her when I have to thats it!
But, believe me when the sd wants to go shopping or needs something or needs to go somewhere....my husband it like lightning asking me to do it.
Its double standards and I would make sure you know where you stand before you get in to deep. Its crazy and automatically the step children and ex seem to come first in my experience.
that's what I've been told to
that's what I've been told to do, but how do you live in chaos? there has to be some control and if Dad isn't (can't) be around do you have to pitch in. I told Dad he'd need to get a sitter from now on, even if he's going to the store for 10 minutes...do not leave me alone with your kids....that was after the little sh*t incident.
thanks folks....what does DH
thanks folks....what does DH stand for, I'm assuming it means my spouse....I have worked with 0-6 year olds for over 20 years and I have never met 2 kids who are so difficult to reach. Dad is quite strict with them, but can be a little wishy washy when it comes to consistency, which was the topic of our last argument. I lost it and called the youngest a little sh*t...I should have said brat but sh*t came out of my mouth. BM and Dad both admit he is a little sh*t, he is having trouble at both school (suspensions) and daycare because of his behavour. I am EXTREMELY regretful for having used the work sh*t, but let's face it...if the they weren't being paid not too, I'm sure the school and daycare staff would too. Dad has an excuse for every behavour that is inappropriate, but has 0 tolerance when he's tired or in a rush...hence the inconsistency. BM doesn't spend enough time with the kids to notice and when she does it's quite social and I don't think there is much supervision...or any expectation to behave..just ramming around and playing while she socializes. BM doesn't take much responsibility for the day to day stuff like hygiene etc...she's the one who is more interested in extra curricular activities and the social stuff.
I'm ready to step back and out of the scene, my problems are these: it's MY house too and I won't have it controlled by children, my kids are 22 and 17 and they sure didn't control my house; and I also can't sit back and watch 2 beautiful young children develop into monsters...not on my shift. so whew, I've vented...
Am I expecting too much, do I need a tranquilizer gun (aimed at me) ??