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BM tries to make it look like SO forgot about SD3

DASKRA's picture

So all day yesterday BM was telling him he was not getting here then all at 630PM gets a text about why did you not pick her up and you forgot here. Here is a long story short. Here is the e-mail SO sent BM explaining the situation.

BM sent this to SO at 630 PM via email

After calling you askign you why u didnt pick her up, u exclaimed stating i NEVER told you to pick her up, after both lawyers and order states u have her this weekend and after u fought me tooth and nail for her this weekend. You never once said on the ohone you were even COMING to pick her up.

SO are you picking SD3 up tonight 6/8/12. According to the guidlines it states the non costdial parent has child on friday at 530p-sunday at 7p. it is now 7:36p and as u state ur at a softball game. Let me knw if ur picking SD3 up tonight for YOUR SCHEDULED VISITATION WEEKEND. if your not here by 9p (which is to late for an exchange) ill take that as you giving up ur SCHEDULED visitation.

This is what was sent this morning

BM,
This is why I will only be communicating with you via E-mail from now on. You take my words and turn them around, you continue to be verbally aggressive and abusive toward me over the phone and in the presence of our daughter. I do not feel this is a good situation for her.

The last email I received from you was at 11:58 PM that states : Are we on the same page thou for this weekend? I have her this weekend n u have her the next 2 weekends then were back on track. Then at 6:32 PM I received a text message stating : You forget something? You fight tooth and nail to get audryna this weekend and you win but fail to pick her up at daycare. Then I received a phone call from you 4 min later and you began to yell at me that I forgot to pick up SD3 from daycare and I informed you that you never told me when or where to pick her up or that You were going to agree to allow me to have her this weekend. I asked why you didn't inform me that I was to pick her up and you never answered me. This is on your part in which no communication was done in regards to when or when or even that I was going to get SD3 for my weekend. I again am going to request that you contact me via e-mail as to that way there is documentation for both parties.

According to the e-mails you were sending me all day yesterday they stated that I would not get her this weekend. I have multiples of them. I was told by my attorney that I was to get her this weekend regardless due to your keeping her and taking her away from me. You continued to tell me that I was not getting her this weekend due to the trade you wished to make. There was no attempt in contacting me telling me that you changed your mind and where to get SD3. I would have had no indication or reason to believe that SD3 was at daycare as she has not been there in almost 2 weeks. The reason I didn't pick her up from there is due to your lack in communication that would of informed me on where she was. You also told me that I could not have her this weekend and then changed your mind all of a sudden. How am I to know of your change in mind unless you inform me. I have asked that you contact me via e-mail regarding all custody/visitation arrangements to prevent you from saying you told me things when you didn't. If you don't e-mail me then I am going to assume that you are not willing to confirm the conversation.

As you are aware the Court Order takes precedence over the South Dakota Guidelines in regards to visitation. There fore the court order states that I have her every Thursday and every other weekend. I keep her over night Thursday and if it's my weekend as it was ( you demanded that I bring her to you by 9 am yesterday morning or you would not allow me to see SD3 Again) There is not an indication that I get her Friday at 530 PM. I have her Thursday through Sunday at 6-615 PM per the Court Order. This is what you wanted and was signed by the judge.

I feel this is an attempt to make me look like I am not exercising my right to visitation by trying to manipulate the situation to show that I didn't WANT her or that I didn't pick her up. This is not the case. This is in part due to your lack of communication to notify me that I was going to get her this weekend. Your attorney and my attorney have told you many times or advised you on what needs to be done and thus far this is the first time in which you have followed through.
I am also wanting to know what date during the week you would like to establish as the floating day. I think that it worked best when Wednesday was the floating day as to prevent SD3 from flip flopping back and forth and thus this would create less times in which we need to exchange her.

SO

This is all just getting so exhausting. It is starting to affect me and my relationship with SO. I am just sick of BM and her BS and I know that it's not going to change or get any easier.

Sometimes I wish I would not have fallen in love with SO and SD's it would make things so much easier.

Comments

firecrackerz12's picture

Im sorry you are dealing with this. I understand it is tiring. DH and I have to deal with same. Except she uses sd11 cousins to come over their home on dh visitation days.

hereiam's picture

Oh, you have one of THOSE BMs. I had one of those (SD is grown now).

She would tell my hubby to meet her at a certain place to get the kid, only her and the kid would go somewhere different. Then an hour later, she would call, "Your daughter is crying AGAIN because you don't want to see her and you don't love her." And yes, this is what she told the kid.

It is exhausting and frustrating and very messed up. We had more problems with the ex than we ever did with the kid.

Your SO has to put his foot down and let BM know he will not let her use his own daughter to manipulate him. Not easy.

cant win for losin's picture

you know what i would also tell BM that if any "plans" are not made through via e-mail then they were never made.

so if she tries to change the schedule via phone, i wouldn't go with those plans. if she e-mailed the plans then they are set.