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DarkStar's picture

So much going on!!!!

The wonderful......SD20 gave birth to a little girl, SGD, a few weeks ago.  She is precious and adorable and perfect!!  I am a proud Mimi.  SD20 had a "shotgun" wedding a couple of months ago in the local courthouse.

SD24 is pregnant with their first, a boy, due in July.  Everyone is thrilled!  She and hubby are high school sweethearts, got married when they finished college a few years ago.

The good.....our niece that we got guardianship of last August, Nnow8 is doing well.  She is thriving in our household, doing much better at school, and no more serious behavior issues like we first experienced.

The not so good.....SS18.  He is on the autistic spectrum, high-functioning.  I didn't think he would ever be able to become an independent adult, but his high school years were GREAT.  He was in marching band, his grades were acceptable, he had some friends, got a job, was learning how to drive......then senior year and he has completely lost the plot and his mind. 

He lost his 2nd job at a fast food chain.  They stopped giving him hours.....yet kept hiring other people.....the "newish" way that these retail places get rid of their part-time help by eliminating hours without the hassle of actually having to fire someone.  He eventually quit after almost a month of no hours.  It was painful to have to explain that they weren't going to give him anymore hours, and they weren't going to just come out and fire him, so he should just quit.  

School has taken a nose-dive.  He will graduate, but with barely any effort and lots of tardies, missed assignments, and such.  He was also supposed to take a higher level English class that would have satisified the requirement at community college, but he blew that off for an easier class.  Not that it matters, because it's looking like SS18 will not be attending the automotive course at our local community college that has been his DREAM since he was a toddler.  He has put in zero effort to find a new job, get a driver's license, signing up for automotive school classes in the fall.....NOTHING.  He is supposed to purchase several hundreds dollars worth of tools before starting automotive class, but has blown most of his money on toys (yes, literal TOYS), fast food, and stupid Amazon purchases.  DH has discussed all this with BM and if SS18 continues to blow off his future, he will be moving in with BM after high school graduation where he will work in a local factory and she will control his paychecks and give him a small allowance with the intent on getting him to save enough money to get his own place.  She lives in a rural area and the cost of living is cheap.  See....BM doesn't want a permanent basement dweller either, so she's willing to give him a leg up to start.

SS18 either just doesn't care or he thinks we're bluffing.  I told him the other week that unless he gets another job, he will be EXPEDITING his departure to his mom's to be IMMEDIATELY after graduation.....there is no way we're letting him sit around the house all summer without even a part-time job.  He just shrugs.....and goes back to his electronics.  Oh and his hoarding has really never stopped.  It was really the final straw for me to demand that SS18 leave the house after graduation.......hoarding food and garbage in his room is the end.stop.law.broken.your.ass.is.out rule.  That, and more of his nasty poopy underwear....the POOP wars never really ended either.  Many past blogs of this behavior.  So my disengagement has gone to the next level with this kid.  I don't even care if he graduates high school, as long as he's out of my house.  D to the O.N.E

 

Comments

Rags's picture

status is always interesting in the comparision of kids.

The beast status of this kid would be the primary deal breaker for me.

Enjoy your empty nester status after graduation.

Drinks

justmakingthebest's picture

I am so happy about all your good news.

I feel you on your SS18. I think 17-21 was probably the hardest for my with my Autistic SS. He will be 23 in a couple of weeks and it is amazing how everyone is saying that he isn't even the same person as when he first came to live with me. 

For us it did get better but let me tell you, if his BM was worth anything there were a lot of times I would have been happy to send him to her! I still don't know if SS will be able to live on his own ever, but we are moving forward. The petty fighting with him has stopped, he is learning to take some responsibility, he is working hard... He has just come a long way. I hope your SS finds his way too!