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The HOARDING never stops!

DarkStar's picture

Hello!  I don't post much, but this hoarding business has put me over the TOP!  SS17 is autistic, high-functioning.  He has come a LONG way in the 10+ years that I've known him.  I thought I'd never be able to leave him alone in a room, forget about a date-night, but all that has changed, thank goodness!  He is doing OK in school, his IEP is still in effect, but he has "graduated" from many of the steps/goals that he has been given and is right on track to graduate in 2023 and start his automotive program at our local community college.  I trust him to watch/feed the dogs, do various chores with little supervision, and we have date night whenever we want with no worries!  A blessing for sure.

However, the hoarding/collecting garbage never really stopped.  It is MUCH better, but only because I refuse to live in filth and am on top of room inspections, bag checks, etc.  Yes, DH SHOULD be doing these checks, but he doesn't, so I either nag him to check, or show him the results when I do.  We have had talks with SS, he has watched multiple episodes of Hoarders, he's been grounded, lost electronics, had his room stripped, etc.  

A few weeks ago, when snow was still on the ground, I noticed when SS came home from school that his coat pockets were BULGING and he hadn't been keeping his coat on the coat hook by the door, but taking it to his room, which is suspicious.  The nastiness that was in his pockets was enough to rocket launch me into oh-crap-shes-gonna-blow-everyone-run-for-cover DEFCOM 10 explosion!!!  Amongst the grossness: leaking ketchup/mustard packets, a jelly-filled donut wrapped in a napkin, leaves, broken plastic garbage crap, etc.  I dumped his school backpack to find similar grossness and food items.  He is NOT allowed to bring food to/from home/work/school/his mom's/etc.  

And then the bi-weekly cleaners day.  We all do the "clean before the cleaners" the night before and pick up all the stuff laying around.  SS actually CLEANS his room, especially his bathroom, due to the nastiness that is SS17.  I asked DH to check his room this morning before the cleaners arrived and he came out with a small bag of garbage that he said he collected from the closet.  Later while shooing one of the dogs out of SS's closet I see a PILE of garbage containing CHEESE, candy, cookie crumbs, wrappers, bits of dried dog food (don't ask), that the dogs had dragged out from whatever hiding place in the closet.  

So I am DONE with the bag checks and the closet checks and all the punishments that end up wearing ME out more than anything else.  So I'm charging SS a "fee" everytime he breaks one of our major household rules.  And then, I double the fee for next time.  Don't worry, the money is all going to a GTFO fund for SS17 for his first apartment or housing arrangement.  At first, SS wasn't very concerned about owing me $15, but it's getting to $40 and doubling EACH TIME.  Don't worry, when it gets to $100, we start back at $5 again.  


Ispofacto's picture

Has he ever tried antidepressants for his OCD?


DarkStar's picture

Starting at the ripe old age of 5, thanks to BM, who had primary at the time.  Let's see, he has been prescribed Namenda, Sertraline, Risperidone (short term,SCARY side effects), Clozapine, Concerta, Prozac, Ritalin, Vyvanse....not simultaneously, of course.  Then of course, you had other scripts to minimize the side effects from these powerful drugs on a child.  Those were fun years.  

Finally, after finding a good M.D for the meds, and a qualified group of therapists, he is down to one dose of Vyvanse per day.  But, he has "completed" his therapy AKA insurance will no longer cover it, so, no more therapy.