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SD is so predictable.

DaizyDuke's picture

Just got off the phone with DH, and he's pissed. Of course SD20 as usual. So little backstory, because SD went to live with Aunt J when she was 16, Aunt J refused to take her without DH and BM1 signing over their parental rights to her. (smart woman) this went through court, MIL actually picked BM1 up and took her to court, so she couldn't no show and everything was legal and easy peasy. Aunt J did not want child support, but DH didn't feel right about not sending something, so they agreed on $150.00 per month. Aunt J just put that money in a savings account for SD. So fast forward, SD is now a Sophomore in college and DH agreed to continue to send her $150.00 a month; again because he feels it's his obligation, even though BM has NEVER felt any sort of obligation and has never paid a cent of child support.. or anything for that matter, but whatever she's a piece of garbage.

So if you all remember, SD came back to our state for the summer (thinking she was going to get a free car from us) and worked while she was here for 3 months. DH knows exactly how much money she came with, because Aunt J told him, and he knows that SD left with exactly that same amount of money, which means she blew every penny that she made while working all summer. In fact she even bragged to DH about how she spent $1,000 on her 4 sisters (not DH's), because she feels bad for them because BM1 does nothing. When SD left the beginning of August, DH sent her with $300.00 (for August and Sept) so she could use it for her down payment on her apartment with her weirdo boyfriend.

So DH just mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he hasn't sent any money since and was waiting to see if SD said anything. Sure as shit I guess she started calling a week or so ago. The first call, she was telling him that she thought her debit card got hacked and wasn't sure what she was going to do. DH didn't fall for it and said nothing about sending money. Then he got a random "I love and miss you dad" text from SD (which is hilarious in and of itself, because that is soooooo NOT how their relationship rolls) Then yesterday she calls and finally breaks down and asks about the money. Claims she really needs the money because she has strep throat and hasn't been able to work all week and she's not sure how she's going to pay the rent. WTF? Our BS7 has had strep 3 times in the past 4 years and has always gone right back to school in 24 hours. And what about her weirdo boyfriend? Can't he float her for a week or so?? Then there is also the fact that she told DH last year when she was telling him this nonsense about getting an apartment with BF, that most of her rent was covered by her student loan. Which we believe means that when she got her check from this year, that she blew it all and has nothing to cover her rent now.

DH has had it with her manipulation and lies and nonsense in general. He said he just wants to figure out what he "owes" her if he gives her the $150.00 until she's 21 and send her the lump sum and be done with her. I don't really care either way I guess. That's his deal, and I'm already done with her after the nasty message she sent me the day she hopped on her broom to go back to University state.

It's obvious she is not going to change. GBM/BM and yes, DH made her the adult she is. I tried to tell him years ago that his coddling her and letting her play him against BM and vice versa was going to come back to bite him, but nobody wanted to listen to me. I was just the evil SM. Oh well. Not MY problem, so I'm good.

Comments

WTF...REALLY's picture

Only having to pay $150 a month starting when she was 16 is getting off pretty easy. I wouldn’t feel too bad about him continuing to help her out till she’s 21. She is obviously not a gem, but it’s good that he’s helping her a little bit that is.

What did he do for health insurance when she was 16? That alone cost us 200 a month per kid.

DaizyDuke's picture

I have no issues with him continuing to pay her, again that's his deal. What he takes issue with is her playing him and her lies and manipulation. He even said, " you know if she would have just called the first time and been straight up and said hey dad, was just wondering about my check" he would have more respect for her. It's her always having to act like a player, always with the lies, always with the manipulation that has him so pissed off.

Aunt J was legal guardian so she put her on her insurance, but it didn't cost her anything extra. My insurance is the same. I have family plan, doesn't matter if I have just husband, or husband and 30 kids, the cost is the same.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

"He even said, 'you know if she would have just called the first time and been straight up and said hey dad, was just wondering about my check' he would have more respect for her. It's her always having to act like a player, always with the lies, always with the manipulation..."

He should be saying this to his daughter instead of venting to you. But that would require a spine and good communication skills, which neither of our spouses possess.

I also hope he doesn't follow through with a lump sum payment. You know he won't be able to say no to future "emergency requests".

DaizyDuke's picture

Yeah, I don't think a lump sum is in his or her best interest. Because she will guarantee blow it and have nothing to show for it, and then in 6 months she'll be calling him again for money. And it's debatable what he would tell her. Some days, I think he would tell her to pound salt, then other days, he would flop and feel guilty and send her more money. You never know with him. Sad

WTF...REALLY's picture

BM wanted a lump sum buy out with her alimony. So we took a loan for $10,000.00 and gave it to her. All the while she paid zero towards her child.

Anybody who will listen to her, she tells them she got screwed over financially .....cracks me up. She also tells us her daughter any chance she gets. :sick:

DaizyDuke's picture

UGH! Your DH had to pay that worthless hag alimony???? My land, she's the gift that keeps on giving. Sad

notsobad's picture

I think he should keep up with the $150 a month and NOT do a lump sum.

That lump sum will disappear and she'll be back begging for more. Saying she'll pay him back and what not.

Keep sending the $150 and not a penny more. Let her figure it out.

strugglingSM's picture

Maybe he should try to contact her landlord and see if he can pay the $150 directly to him to cover part of the rent.

DaizyDuke's picture

That's a great idea. DH probably won't bother though, because if he asks her for landlord information so he can send the $150.00 directly to him, she'll most definitely lie and say that landlord is out of town, or landlord doesn't have a phone or some stupid horseshit that will just piss DH off.

thinkthrice's picture

And once eviction proceedings start, at least in most of NY, the landlord cannot accept any rent or it will derail the eviction process.

thinkthrice's picture

SD is a POS due to her playing BM against DH that's for sure!! How soon till she turns 21? (Not that it will stop her begging for money).

"Aunt J did not want child support, but DH didn't feel right about not sending something, so they agreed on $150.00 per month. "

Wow you won the lottery on that one!!! Chef is still paying almost 1K a month and in theory is making about $200 a week net at most. We go to the attorney on Monday! (trying to contain my glee)

I hope we can go for Constructive Emancipation--SD posted yet another slam at Chef in which the Girhippo lamely tried to tell her to "stop." I guess the Girhippo knows that I have an eye on the lot of them!!!

DaizyDuke's picture

I know, we are both eternally grateful to Aunt J for taking SD. Not only did the drama and chaos leave our home, Aunt J insisted on not taking any money from DH to have her. Three months in, Aunt J was ready to send her back, but she stuck it out for 1.5 years and got the little sociopath graduated and out of her house.

Acratopotes's picture

nice..... I agree with the others, tell DH no lump sum, he should keep sending it monthly cause maybe she will learn to budget, he should also tell her now, remember this money only happens till your 21st birthday... after that you are an adult and I will not be supporting any other adult then my wife..