Upcoming Birthday - Repeat Pattern
As I predicted, FSD13 turning 14 has decided to come back around and talk to DH. She did this six weeks before Christmas and now six weeks before her birthday. See a pattern anyone?
Anyway, at the end of the month, I am driving down to where FSD resides for FSIL baby shower. FDH has decided to come to 'celebrate' FSD soon to be birthday (its about a week after the visit). No plans have been set in stone. I will be driving my vehicle because it is better for travels than a truck. FSD still doesn't address my existance, but told FD that they should go go-carting while he's down there, just him and her (I actually think its not a bad idea). The bad thing - FDH said, that sounds great but I won't have a car so we need to play it by ear. FSD said, 'take Dads_Wife's car and we can go' to which FDH responded with, 'yeah yeah yeah - we aren't getting into this now' - see I was in the room when this conversation was happening via the phone and I am VERY torn inside so I'm going to try to lay this out as easy as possible.
Where we are going I have many friends and would like access to my vehicle so I can do what I want within reason. Part of me thinks I should sacrifice and let FDH use my car to take her somewhere so he has the opportunity to try and better their relationship but the other part of me is like, why should that little troll dictate what items of mine will be used for when she won't even acknowledge my existance. I know FDH will not ask for my vehicle and does not entertain what FSD said, as he knows how things are and I would have to offer it to him for him to consider borrowing it.
I know we all end up in this position at times - we want to help our FDH but we also have much resentment for the way steps have treated us and continue to treat us. I think its hard because she wants to use my car to get what she wants but doesn't want me around at all, basically saying they go gocarting and then meet FMIL and FFIL for dinner - no mention of Dads-Wife going at all (also torn because, in all honesty, I don't think I would want to go, but I also don't want her to view us as not a unit).
Any advice STalkers?