Today is OSD's 17th birthday. DH has not seen her nor spoken to her since April 2018, when she was 15.
She PAS'ed out when she was 13/14 and BM has not once agreed that she needs to see her dad. There has been no court as DH was burned during the divorce and doesn't want to be in debt for court that likely will not help the matter anyway. BM is most certainly the exalted mommy who can do no wrong.
DH was going to ask if he could do a Zoom video meeting with them today sometime as it's only BM, YSD (who put off coming here for three days due to OSD's birthday...DH is so burned out on this stuff he told me he's just not fiighting any longer) and OSD due to the COVID restrictions in our state. I told him me might get a 'no' answer or basically no answer at all so be prepared. He agreed and said that at least he's trying. And we agreed that's all he can do. I think he did send something to her for her bday but I do not get involved in that whatsoever. He also verfied he's keeping copies of all correspondence. I need to make dinner for us tonight (not my night to cook because I'll bet he's going to be all over the place today with emotions).
We expect that when school is back in person we will then see less of YSD as it's impossible for her to make the high school start from our home during the week and he'll be relegated to EOWE. At that point he says we could move. But I think he really wants to wait until YSD is out of high school unless she totally PAS'es out too. But I don't think she will. One more week to xmas thank god and then this year will be OVER. I'm more worried BM will file a CS change once YSD is spending more time with her. Crossing fingers not, but who knows.
On other OSD news, DH got a request the other week for FAFSA information for a private college OSD wants to apply to. This came from not the school but BM.
- Oh, is OSD applying for college early? Oh, nope. BM and OSD are just making plans so she requested this info, and this school also requires MY info as a DH household member. OH HELL NO DH to NOT send ANY financial info directly to BM! WTH!!!! She can guesstimate! And eff no is she getting ANY of MY information. Never. If the school requires it and I'm not financially obligated, I get that, but I would only agree to submit to the school. Ever. And no, OSD is not getting a dime from me for college. DH agreed thank goodness.
He also said that if she's applying to colleges and wants his financial support, then she HAS to talk with him, at least about schools. There's no way he's committing thousands going in blind. I siad yep, if she's going into young adulthood part of growning up is acknowledging supporters and coming to agreements with them about stuff like this.
BTW: She's choosing an all-women's school apparently. Better to avoid men in general. She's identifying as bi but really YSD said she's lesbian. A militant one at that.