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Event Night

Cover1W's picture

SD13 had a big event tonight. DH paid for her classes (not cheap!) and I helped arrange things and drive her to/from part of the time. 

And of couse BM was there. And of course SD gave us the shaft. And told BM in front of everyone that she wanted to go home with her. Then broke down in tears in our car. Didn't say a word to us when we got home, still crying, said she was tired and going to bed. Got on the phone with her mom immediately. Like we were not in existence.

DH is on the phone with BM now, telling her to please do not speak with SD on his time unless it's a quick call, he's done. BM said "you cant tell me I can't call my daughter..." Classic PAS! DH sees it niw at least. He's furious and is going to have a serious convo about respect and graciously appreciating people tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile I told DH I am done driving unless SD genuinely thanks me. She can kiss my help goodbye. DH totally understood.

Any bets that she's going to be out of the home by end of next year like her sister?


Harry's picture

Until she treats you and her BF with respect you should get.  You went out on yout way to make this night for her., And  BM who did nothing gets the kisses.  Start by doing nothing for her. Let BM handle all of it.  Stop letting yourself get hurt 

Cover1W's picture

Oh you bet! This is the first time YSD has acted like this. I learned my lesson with OSD already.

thinkthrice's picture

almost eventually spreads to the younger siblings.  The Gir made such a stink to the skids about horrible, rotten Chef leaving her "high and dry" (so untrue...I've actually been left "high and dry" and the Gir has been well provided for) that the incessant drum beat of "Dad and SM are scum, Mommykins loves you best" almost always sinks in to skids.

Sorry you are now reliving this with YSD.

tog redux's picture

Typical alienated kid. She probably was pressured by BM to go with her, or promised some fun activity that she was sad to be missing. DH loses either way.

Once after a big blow-up involving the police at our home, BM, etc, BM wanted to take SS with her on our night. DH said no initially but SS was crying and said, "Please dad. If I don't go with her, she will text me all night long." We didn't see him again for over a month and DH had to fight in court for visits to resume. In hindsight, he should have said NO and taken SS's phone away.

That's what these kids put up with.  I know it's easy to get mad at the kid, but she's in a crap situation.

Cover1W's picture

I'm mad at BM mostly. When YSD told her she wanted to go home with HER, BM didn't say something like, This is your dad's weekend, I love you and will see you on Monday...nope. She just hugged her and left. Then got on the phone with her 45 min later. DH knows this too.

DH and I have been discussing the entitled attitude of both SDs, and he's going to work on it...we will see. 

I don't fully blame YSD but she knew, I could see it in her face. I'm just not going to be a part of things like that any longer.

tog redux's picture

I get that, I felt the same way - just didn't want to deal with it anymore, no matter whose fault it was. It's a toxic situation to be part of.

I just think it's helpful to counteract all the angry black/white voices on here regarding alienation and remind people that the kid is a victim too. 

Cover1W's picture

Exactly. It's complex and exhausting. I'm going to go work in the garden today and get out of the house.

Cover1W's picture

Well I am having a delicious Czek Pils and BBQ burgers are on the grill and corn on the cob! Yes I am cooking because I want it. 

Haven't seen YSD all day. Literally. She's been in her room all day even though it's a perfect warm day. DH is done too, he decided to work since YSD didn't want to do anything.