WTF
My DH is such a baby sometimes. Yes, even though I don't care anymore and he's aware of that, he asks me if SD was in the basement and when I said yes he was worried that she was bored!!!
I told him that if he was so worried about her being bored that maybe he shouldn't leave her here alone for whole days like tomorrow when he goes hunting and take his responsibilities to make sure she has someone to look after her. He answers me that his mother saw her enough this week and the other side of the family is not sure about inviting her since she doesn't want to talk to them!
So I told him that I was done making efforts, inviting her to watch a movie with us etc, that she was old enough to come upstairs and that if she was too mad at me for telling her what I thought well too fuckin bad for her, she can be bored all she wants, she's the one who brought it on herself. The more I tried, the less respect I got from her so I am done.
He got mad at me and told me that maybe I should get my son at my mom's on Monday then that it was my responsibility. I politely told him I was gonna until he offered to get him...
ARGH I find it so frustrating! I havn't smoked in over 2 years but damn a cigarette would be good right now!
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SD is 13 and she's with us
SD is 13 and she's with us permanently now. I don't know why it's my business but I guess DH feels torn between us but like I told him, I wont ask to choose to spend time with me or her but I wont go out of my way to spend time with her since she obviously doens't want me around. If he wants to spend the day with her, I'm old enough to find other things to do!
He pisses me off but I'm glad it just doens't happen here!
I love this site! Makes me feel normal lol
Its not like sd doesn't Hav a
Its not like sd doesn't
Hav a brain of her own
She's jst jst doin dat to
Get attention hehe DRAMA
Bring it onnn
I think a lot of Dad's are
I think a lot of Dad's are completely unable to relate to their daughters during puberty and actually feel quite nervous of them, like they were some unexploded hormone bomb. Then they tip toe around behavioural issues without taking the bull by the horns, which leaves any step mother in a very difficult position. As a step you often don't feel close enough to pry into the SKids feelings and behaviour too much, and the parent, who should be close enough, then feels no more able or inclined to have those conversations.
My SD is nearly 15, from about the age of 13 she began withdrawing and spent a lot of time in her room or with her friends. I think a shift of emphasis from family to friends, and some degree of separation as they start exploring their identity is normal for teenagers, but we often worried about whether she was bored, or didn't want to be here, or was unhappy about something. We tried our best to create a happy environment while she was here and coax her out of it. We persisted with sit down family meals and I joined an online movie rental service so we could at least get together for family movie time. A year later, after she has got herself into a lot of trouble we discover yes, she was unhappy, and bored, and anxious, and so closed off she couldn't even talk to us about it. She is now making a real effort and says it seems wierd to think she spent so many hours on her own in her room, only coming out to eat and then return to her bedroom. She has realised that she had to make some of the effort and the running in order to feel at home here and involve herself in family life. She had to be the one to have the realisation and meet us half way, but I wish now that we had confronted her withdrawal a long time ago and tried to draw out of her how she was feeling instead of pussyfooting around.
I don't play the "I'm bored"
I don't play the "I'm bored" game. I am not the entertainment director in this house.
If you're bored, find something to do. If you can't find something to do, I'll be happy to let you help me clean and do laundry.
Sheeesh. I don't remember ever expecting my parents to entertain me growing up. I wouldn't dare suggest I was bored. My mother would have had me cleaning baseboards!
I love the way you think!
I love the way you think! Why would I want to entertain her anyways, I have in the past and just for her to shit in my face so I am done.
I could suggest cleaning lol
Are you kidding me, "mom seen
Are you kidding me, "mom seen her enough this week and other side of family wont want her cuz she wont talk to them either". He would rather she be with you and punish her mother cuz she had her enough this week...he needs some re-wiring. Suggest nicely that her mother probably would appreciate having her rather than the other side of the family or me whom she won't talk to either. Kindly tell him it would be in the child's best interest to be where she is happy, since he gets to go hunting where he is happy. grrrr...keep your cool and keep on your dissengaging dynamic but don't announce it. keep us updated.
I meant DH's mom. Her mom is
I meant DH's mom. Her mom is dead.
If it were me, I'd tell DH
If it were me, I'd tell DH that he needs to cancel his little hunting outing and spend some damn time with his DD! Time with her father is what she needs. She probably feels like he doesn't even want her around, if he's going to take off and go hunting while she's there. I know I would feel that way...