Overwhelmed!!!!!
Hey everyone, so today is day 3 of my stepkids 5 days at our house and I really feel today more than ever not 100% comfortable in my own home. I'm not on top form because my husband and I are still strained after the arguments from last week's issues so I'm just kinda letting him deal with the kids and I'm observing him and slowly realising that the kids are the way they are because of him - he basically lets them do whatever they want until he knows it's really getting to me and then he'll make a half ditched attempt at putting it right. I'm venting here because today I really feel like leaving him and never looking back. Part of me thinks I may have ignored things that I knew I didn't like or approve of in him and we argue so much now that all I focus on are his weaknesses - I'm slowly forgetting all the reasons I tell myself I fell in love with him and am even starting to wonder if I was ever in love with him - maybe I'm just having a really bad day but it seems I'm having more bad days than good and that's not how I want or need my life to be. Sometimes, like Sweetie has said here before I just feel like running away from it all, how can 2 kids really put such a strain on a relationship? Is it the kids or is it my husband and I? I'm digging deep to see whether I have the strength or the desire to keep this relationship/situation going. Thanks for listening - it probably made no sense but I feel somewhat like my load is lessened by sharing.
- Cindy's blog
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Comments
Cindy
Trust me. What you said does make sense. I sometimes have feelings of wanting to get away from the situation too. I think sometimes my husband just doesn't know how I feel no matter how many times or ways I try to tell him.
Keep on sharing! That is exactly why this site was created!
We are listening.
Dawn
Digging Deep or What I call Ditch Digging
Dear Mac,
You're gonna be okay....really, I know this from experience. There are so many people who are on this site to help lighten and carry your load, you're not alone. And I can relate to exactly what you're saying about things having to go way wrong, and your spouse has to realize things are going south, before he does anything to correct any problems. I really think it has something to do with being men. It kind of goes hand in hand with asking directions. Your man will be putzing around for awhile before he figures it out, cuz my husband, is still putzing around and the kids are gone, out of the house, and things are still not right and settled. No matter what happens, things are never ideal and you have to slowly get away from looking for perfection, because you just won't find it. One of the things about this site that helps each of us, is knowing that someone is either going through similar problems, or has already been there. I know when I write, and I may be upset or confused, I do look forward to getting a response from somebody, because the people on the site do care, and are probably far more in tune and acquainted with my feelings about a certain subject. Sometimes, I do think my husband either doesn't listen or just tunes it out.
Anyway, I wanted you to know that I do understand that it is possible for things to snowball, and your husband may let everything build up before he decides, hey, maybe, I better do something about it. I used to have that happen at home pretty often. Just remember we're all in the trenches with you.
Regards,
Sweetie