cece....I hate to discourage you, but this kid will probably always have issues.

I watched a documentary about a kid that was suicidal. His poor poor family. He finally did it. I feel for you involved with another's child that has your behavior in question with the man you love.

If your husband doesn't support you, down the road...anything this kid does could possibly come down as your fault. Are you ready to be blamed because it sounds like someone has to take it in the shorts for this kid's unhealthy behavior.

Marriage with children is a challenge. Marriage with step children extremely difficult. Marriage with a diagnosed depressive ADD is more than I could handle. After being in a marriage for a long time with hostile step children, I can tell you if you're able to get out of your marriage, do it.

I've been through it where I wasa questioned. I often wondered if I should have followed 2 pysch rceommendation to get away from my husband's lying dangerous daughter. I'm still in the marriage, but I'm not waving a victory flag.

Would I do it over, I don't think so. Am I a better person for sticking with my husband and enduring the hatefulness, no. Severe damage done to the marriage. My husband doesn't see it, but I do. Are his adult kids a joy to be around, no. They are worse than when they were children.

If you're young and can support yourself, let me tell you, there're other men without this messy baggage you're dealing with. And that's exactly what most skids are and birth mothers. Heavy unwanted baggage. Not all of them, but a good majority.

So rethink your marriage, your situation, and place youself just 5 years from now what you think will be the situation. Don't be like the rest in here totally drained of energy and life because of step kids issues and you getting the blame for them being the misfits that they are.

Move on to a better healthier future.

I agree with done with it. I'm actually calling off my wedding as we speak because i refuse to have ss,8 and bm keep trying to ruin everything while dh carries around so much guilt that he can't stand up to bm or stand up for me. SS refuses to come over and pulls the out all the stops. I get blamed for everything and frankly I'm sick of trying to get to the top of the totem pole. Its tiring and my Kids suffer because I'm always stressed out. Wish i could say it will get better but when it comes down to it, YOU are the one who will have to suffer and will look back at the trainwreck they are making of your life.

Good for you JJlove...you're one smart lady. You're also keeping your kids from a ugly situation.

Be strong and do remain friends with the man. Let him know it's just not going to work, you think the world of him, but you need to move on to a less stressful lifestyle. WIsh him well and always be polite when you run into him. DOn't badmouth him....you don't know down the road what will happen and you'll need him in some way.

It just didn't work for you. There's always a reason and it's usually because someone better is in your future. You're not running out of the situation with your man, his son, and the ex....you're running to something better and smarter.

Good Luck.

Yes this kid will always have issues, but that doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. My SS10 has tons of emotional issues and regularly says "You hate me!!" my usual response is "If I hated you, you would not live here. Your mom would be happy for us to let go of our custody and if I hated you, I could talk your dad into it." He knows it's true, so he usually lets it go. He's in counselling for that same stuff. Another thing that has helped his self-esteem is us working hard to find a sport that he could do. He's in karate and it's helped a ton! But, one of the main things that has helped is that all of his parents (smom included) now stick together on everything. DH wouldn't dream of believing one of the skids over me. Neither would BM. That has been the single most helpful thing for both skids.