Lately my husband step children has been more and more distant. In the beginning we all got along good. of course I would  take them and pay for things.  but then I kind of started to feel a little used and to be honest going borke! So I stop purchasing and buying things for them if it wasn't for their birthday or holiday. once all of them moved here and live with thier mother the BM. Things started to changed... 

Me and my husband are having problems do to the BM doings. Me and the BM do not get along it's more her that hates me so I do my best to ignore her. BUT I have found out that she texted my husband some inappropriate messages to him. " she misses him and she still loves him". He confronted her about the the text SHE sent him on his cell phone which she denied and said it wasn't for him it was for a "friend" I  called bullshit! I Express to my husband that she's lying! He said she looks sincere about it so it was most likely a big mistake so he blocked her from his phone  to prevent more problems, as the step children all have cellphones and the BM dont call him anyway so he says she was blocked. Few weeks later once again she now message him thru FB mesager! With the same SHIT! And blocked BM with that also.

Now.. I feel from the differences between the BM and me the children are the ones that are suffering now and are in the middle. The step children are distant when they do come over it's literally only for 5 minutes they go and socialize with our children and then leave "hi and bye" that's pretty much it when it comes to me. it's a little hurtful because we were good  before the BM move back and started with these messages. for a example the stepchildren wouldn't come over at the house anymore they would always want my children to go to their house.

  I did find out that my youngest kid tried smoking for the 1st time a cigarette! because of the oldest step kid, There's also alcohol and partying over there. The BM is alway drinking. So yes I limit my children from going over their due to me being a parent and protecting mine as best as I can in an environment like that, which is not like that in my own household. All the stepchildren smoke cigarettes,Vape, smoke marijuana and drink alcohol stay out late late hours of the night.my husband  also tries to limit them from going over there at times but when the stepkids ask he gives in and feels guilty.

So when I would say no that my kids couldn't go over there to spend the night at times. The stepchildren Wanted and demanded to know why and hate me for not allowing them to go over when they would ask.  The  step-children just say hi to me and run and hide. should I care? should I be feared?should I not care about their feelings? am I over reacting on certain occasions? 

In the beginning before I found out what was going on there. I told my children we should just make it equal and there's no hard feelings on both parties that one weekend they can go to their house and the next weekend they can come to our house. So the step children can interact with their father. which that didn't last long and her iam question myself? Am I a Mean stepmother?