Ok, I'm tired and need some other options
Ok, so I have two boys that live with me, SS5 & SS4. I have a BD9months. My hubby works two jobs and so I am home with the kids all ALL the time. Which I love being at home. But....
My SS's can be a handful. Such as their latest habit is that they like to scream bloody blue murder at the top of their lungs, for bugs and mosquitos. The super tiniest little bug, they scream to the poinit where you would think that they are bleeding out. There is no talking to them, there is no trying to figure out what the issue is, they just scream in my face as I am asking what is wrong. So this evening SS4 threw a fit at bedtime because he didn't want his pillow case on because he was afraid of the lint on it. He refused to touch it or to calm down and listen to me, all he would do is scream in my face. Well having had an episode like this earlier today and one yesterday from his brother, I grabbed his face and screamed back at him (Yes, I know, it's not the parenting tactic but all parenting fall on my shoulders since my husband works two jobs and is ALWAYS out of the house) He was shocked that I yelled at him, and I explained to him that the lint was from doing the laundry and from cleaning his sheets. NOT BUGS!!! Like seriously.
I know it sounds petty but it's overwhelming and I feel alone on the parenting most times and my husband doesn't understand because in his eyes, they are kids and it's always and only ever about them. And paints me as the mean and bad parent (because I know how to discipline and he threatens discipline but never follows thru)
Thanks 
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Comments
They know about bugs, we have
They know about bugs, we have looked them up onthe computer and seen pictures. We even have books and such. I feel like I am at the end of a rope and I am shutting down with this topic.
I like your tactic. It broke
I like your tactic. It broke the cycle with the SS and showed him how inappropriate his screaming is.
Good job.
I have used similar tactics with my own SS when he was young.
I also had to do the scream back at the kid thing when he would go ballistic. It scared the shit out of him and stopped the insane screaming. He even asked me once when he was about 2yo if I would scream at him if he started screaming. I told him yes. He did not scream.
The best example I have was around teaching him to ride his bike. No screaming envolved but distracting him from usuccessful behavior worked. He was petrified that I would let go. For months I ran behind him and never let go. He would spend more time looking back at me worrying that I would let go than looking where he was going. Finally I had enough and told him that every time he looked at me I WOULD let go. And I did. He crashed every time. For nearly a year we did the look and crash method. Even my father gave it a try to no avail. The kid was fixated on someone holding the back of his bike.
Finally I loaded SS and his bike in the back of my truck and his mom and I took him to a park a few miles from our house. We unoaded the kid and his bike and went for a walk around the lake. As we started walking I told the kid that he could not get off of his bike and that if he did not ride it before we got back to the truck from our walk he would have to push it home. No one would help him, no one would hold on the back of his seat and if he looked back no one would be there.
About 20mins later the kid flew past his mom and I as we walked the lake like he had been riding for years. Which in fact he had been. He had been riding his bike while looking backwards for more than a year. All I did was remove the dependence on someone else. Finally that is what worked.