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Wow, didn't see that one coming. New level of crappy behavior from SD

brutallyhonest's picture

I was a teenager not so long ago, but even given that I had direct experience being a 16 yr. old girl, I really don’t understand SD16’s behavior this weekend concerning her b-day.

BF and MIL and sent SD several emails and left several voicemails on various phones about getting together with SD to celebrate her b-day. This all started a week in advance of her b-day. The kid could have requested just about anything (dinner, party, movie, ice skating on the moon) and BF and MIL would have moved heaven and earth to make it happen. By Friday, no reply from SD. Saturday morning had BF and MIL comparing notes on whether either had heard from SD and whether we should plan on a Sunday evening family b-day party or not. No replies from SD on Saturday. Sunday afternoon after everyone gave up and had decided to get on with the weekend, BF gets a voicemail from SD at 3:45 pm saying only “call me back.” I especially like that despite the fact that a bunch of very specific and detailed messages were left, all SD can say on her message is “call me back”. Not “sorry I lost my phone.” Or “I was away on a sleepover.” Just the very teenage I-will-communicate-as-though-I-hate-you-saying-as-little-as-possible-with-as-much-insolence-as-I can-pack-into-3-words.

So BF calls SD back at 4:00 and says “Hey I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week about your birthday and so has G-ma??!?!?!?!. We were going to have a b-day dinner for you tonight, but now it is too late to round everyone up. Do you want me to come get you and we can just go to G-ma’s for cake and presents?” So basically it is too late to throw together a party, but would you like cake and to be showered with presents despite you rude behavior? Answer from SD is “no, I don’t really care and I don’t want to be picked up.”

I was astonished, she was turning down presents not just from BF, but from her grandparents too. I can’t believe how rude her behavior was. BF has scrimped and saved to get SD some nice presents and gift cards to her favorite stores. MIL had planned to give SD cash for a shopping trip (16 yr. old girl turning now money and gift cards for clothes!!!!). BF and MIL were so hurt. They just couldn’t believe that SD knew they were trying to reach her and purposely decided not to return messages and then would turn her nose up at their gifts. Early that day BF had told me his finances were so tight that he wouldn’t be able to contribute anything toward our next remodeling project, I would have to foot the bill all by myself. Gee I know where like $150 is that you could contribute….

I disengaged from planning events for SD or buying gift for SD because I tired of being burned YEARS AGO, but I continue to be amazed at each new level of hurt she manages to inflict on BF and MIL. This behavior is after MIL spend several hundred $$ taking SD on a cross country trip not 2 weeks ago! If ever a kid need to be grounded and taught some serious life lessons!!

If it were up to me, I would take the gifts back or donate them to some needy children. However, I’m sure BF and MIL will just hang onto them until SD16 decided to grace us with her presence maybe at Christmas. Unbelievable!

Comments

brutallyhonest's picture

I just don't get it. I didn't really enjoy associating with my uncool family at 16 either, but for gifts, a dinner out, the chance to be the princess for the day, and cake I would have endured their company for a few hours! Isn't it amazing that thank you calls and notes haven't been instilled in the current generation? I remember my mother making me write thank you notes to my grandparents for birthdays and christmas all the time. Of course since only have visitation, I also blame BM for a total lack of parenting that has let to this.

I'm pretty good at discreetly returning gifts I don't like, I can't believe your SD didn't even check the value on that bracelet before giving it away. I mastered the "this is so great, I've always wanted one" fake smile along time ago. No one gets hurt and the gift becomes something I did want. I mean there is always ebay for things you don't want anymore!

eyelovegeezus's picture

I am so sorry Sad I am facing my SD12 birthday later this month. I have only been married to her dad for 3 months, and lately she has told him she never wanted him getting married, doesn't like my biokids calling him dad, and she doesn't want to see us or be around us....well, my mom just mailed her a card, offering to take her out for her birthday to have lunch and go shopping...MY MOM, not either of her bio-grammas....it will be interesting to see what she will say to that. Part of me is still hoping for a "happy ending", the other part just wants to disengage and say forget her.