HELP HELP HELP!
My boyfriend and I recently moved in together. He has a 3 year old daughter who is just precious, or at least she used to be. Prior to us living together she would always love when I came over, played with her, did anything with her really. Lately, all she does is scream and cry anytime I try and do anything for her. I cannot put her to bed, make her food, put her in her car seat, even turn the AC in the car toward her. She starts to scream and cry and says "I want daddy to do it." It has really been making me sad lately and I dont know what to do. She even told me she only loves me when i give her popsicles or lollipops, which sadly seems to be true cause thats the only time she will have anything to do with me. My intentions are to bond with her and treat her as if she was my own. She does not make this easy at all. I know she is young and may just need time, but in the month we have lived together, nothing has changed, its probably even gotten worse. What should I do? I need advice.
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I'd just give it more time
I'd just give it more time and I would let daddy take the primary role so she can see he's still there for her. And don't take it personally that she only loves you when you give her treats. My favorite YouTube video is of a boy about that age telling his mom that he only likes her when she gives him cookies. Lol
Just remember, you can't
Just remember, you can't reason with a child. (Hell, I can't use logic on most grown ass adults...) It is so important that you just keep doing what you are doing, and hopefully BF doesn't do those things for her; you have to just say "I'm sorry" in a nice voice and be empathetic, but not give in.
You were fun when you were a friend, but now that you are real, she just sees you as a threat.
I'm so sorry, it is so frustrating, and there are times when it feels like thre is nothing you can do. And 90% of the time, you're probably right.
(But that other 10% of the time, you toot your own horn all you want, it was EARNED dammit.!)
She is used to you coming,
She is used to you coming, having fun, you leaving, and then Daddy tending to her needs. He needs to continue to be the one to put her to bed and do all the parenting tasks. Over time he can slowly incorporate you into the bedtime routine, for instance, and she will accept more you easily.
From her POV, if you are now the one trying to do these things, she sees this as a loss of her father and, in her mind, holds you accountable for it.
Ease off on the parenting tasks, let him take care of her and begin to include you. Let it be a process of falling in love.
I appreciate all the feedback
I appreciate all the feedback I have been getting so let me elaborate a bit more so you understand the situation. This attitude from her has only been going on for a week or two now. Her BM is pregnant and about to be induced on saturday with another man. Her and her new boyfriend moved about within two weeks of when we moved out. I think my Bfs daughter is just going through a huge change, new places to live for both parents, and both parents living with someone new. She is probably confused and does not know what to do. I think only time will tell what will happen with us all. The BM and I get along well and I have never had any drama or problems with her. I do not know what she says to her daughter behind closed doors but I can only hope it isnt mean. Everyone has noticed how cranky she has been lately so apparently her aggression is not only towards me. My bfs mom has noticed it too and she has been throwing lots of fits lately. Hopefully she will just need time. Send well wishes my way, I love my bf to death so I dont want to give up on us, i will need them immensely.