40 minutes ago I was happily sorting out the loft when DH appeared in the attic bedroom to inform me he had just received an odd message from SD15, who has been at her Mum's this weekend (we have custody). There was no time for further information because immediately his phone started ringing again and it was BM. As always her voice was clearly audible from the other side of the room. Apparantly huge row with SD19 has occured followed by SD19 and SD15 leaving the house, SD19 in a whirlwind of fury, SD15 loyally accompanying her. I could hear BM outlining outrageous behaviour of SD19 and announcing that she does not want her in the house any more. In the background I am frozen in the middle of rustling through bags of too small baby and toddler clothing from DS1 and DD3, thinking 'oh NO! I'm not having another one!' (SD15 moved in with us over the summer).

DH was in the middle of dinner, he departs post haste to collect SD's and try to sort things out. Unfortunately by the time I hurl things back into the loft and close it up DS19 months has stormed the bedroom downstairs where I had earlier spent 2 hour gloss painting the furniture, with the unerring accuracy of a toddler left alone for 5 minutes he has identied the used paintbrush and covered his hands, and the television in white. Cue rapid removal to kitchen to de-paint toddler, I am now sweating from painted-baby horror, SD anxiety, and the boiling hot kitchen due to in-production dinner. Clean off toddler and feed children whilst muttering bitterly to self about untimely end to relaxing SKid free weekend and imminent horror of angry and quite possibly in-the-wrong SD's arriving on doorstep. Decide to open emergency can of gin and tonic in order to soften the edges. Removed babies and gin and tonic and laptop at top speed to bathroom so I could hide and compose myself before they arrived but was thwarted when they arrived and DH knocked on the door. Opened door, saw SD's in bedroom, enquired in my best ironic manner if they were having a relaxing evening, exchanged kisses, closed door, DH took them downstairs to feed them, am now sat on bathmat while babies have unusually long bath. All I want is a quiet life, this kind of thing never happened in my family, my sister did once march to the end of road with 10 pairs of pants in a bag when she was 7 but she soon realised it was a mistake. Gin and tonic has started to kick in, am going to have to put babies to bed in a minute and then there will be no hiding.