SS8 obsessed with death.....
My SS who is eight talks about death and people getting killed a lot. Even on movies and TV when they show someone getting hurt he'll ask "They're dying aren't they?" when really they're just hurt. Last night he had a nightmare, came into our room. His dad was dead asleep so I woke up and talked to him for a little bit and got him to go back to bed. Well, this morning his grandmother pulls me aside to talk to me. She tells me that this morning he told her his nightmare was about someone coming into his room and stabbing him. So he moved his bed away from the wall so in case someone did try and come in and stab him he could fall between his bed and the wall and his two stuffed animals, which he's named after his great grandparents he's never met, can fall ontop of him and protect him because they have the spirit of God and his great grandparents in them. What eight year old comes up with stuff like that? I'm starting to get way concerned because he really does have a lot of nightmares and some sort of obsession with death. Sometimes when he tells us about them they seem like he's made them up, but other times they seem legit. My husband is against therapy and always has been, so my question is do I try and get my SS help without his dad, do I even bother, or do I try harder to convinced my husband that his son needs help?
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First I would monitor what
First I would monitor what your SS is watching on TV and the kind of games/video games he is playing.
When should I worry about nightmares or night terrors?
Nightmares and night terrors in children are usually not caused by mental or physical illness. Often nightmares happen after a stressful physical or emotional event. In the first 6 months after the event, a child might have nightmares while he or she gets used to what happened in the event. If nightmares or night terrors keep happening and disturb your child's sleep, they can affect your child's ability to function during the day. Talk with your doctor about whether treatment will help your child. (http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/common/com...)
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Has he lost anyone close to
Has he lost anyone close to him? My niece (5) has terrible nightmares (I think it might be genetic to some extent because I suffer from terrible dreams as well), but she lost her father when she was 2 and I think it plays in her head. Is he on any medication? Some medications cause nightmares. It could just be excessive stress / anxiety. Keep talking to him and letting him voice his dreams, etc.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
I agree with this also. "If
I agree with this also.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Well he isn't on any
Well he isn't on any medications or lost anyone close to him. His BM has come back into the picture but even before that he was rather obsessed with death.
Perhaps he saw something in
Perhaps he saw something in the news or somewhere else and he is trying to resolve it both verbally during the day and through nightmares? This is common in children. Nightmares are actually a healthy way to show that children are coping with change (if they aren't recurrent for long periods of time).The best thing you can do is listen to him, but don't show so much concern that it validates his fears. Let him talk about it and give him the facts. For example, you might say (in response to him asking if someone injured is going to die) "well, sometimes injured people do die and that is scary, but usually when people are hurt, good doctors can help them and they live a good long time. We live for an infinite amount of days and we only die once, so the odds are with us to survive". Be patient, listen, reassure him that he is safe and talk to him about death being natural, but not something that we should fear. I feel bad for the poor kid. I have terribly violent dreams and often wake up screaming and shaking. Its been that way for as far back as I can remember, though it has gotten worse over the past few years.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
I'd definately keep an eye
I'd definately keep an eye on it, but not worry too much. Growing up my brother was obsessed with death and dying. He talked about it all the freakin time! But he never talked about suicide, or anything inappropriate. It was just weird. So yeah, I'd keep an ear out for something pushing the boundaries, but from my personal experience no this isn't totally weird.
"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."