need help PLEASE
my fiancee is currently in the middle of modifying custody for his 2 1/2 yr old daughter he had w a prior girlfriend. he also has 2 teenage sons from his marriage, one lives w us. the modification started bc BM accused me of child abuse, him being neglegent, etc. i have mentioned in other posts some of the stuff she has done...the abuse accusation, several harrassing calls/texts, constantly changing exchange times, bugging him to "babysit", calling at work, confrontations, name calling, etc...so thurs they had mediation. they worked out visitation and everything else except money bc unbeknownst to both of them, mediators in MO dont do the money...how f***ed up is that? anyway, so they have to work that out between the 2 of them and he said so are u gonna work w me about the money or r u going to just take all u can from me? and she told him she wouldnt work w him and wanted all the money shes entitled to. they are supposed to get it strait next wk. then fri am comes...she starts calling and texting and basically now is saying (we had FSD thurs nite) that FSD told BM that FSS15 lays her on the bed and sticks his tongue down her throat and thats how he kisses her!!!!! this is UNTRUE! they got into an argument...she said she told the mediator to call it all off bc shes taking him to court, she wants full custody and all his money blah blah...she told him he is not putting FSD first. he said FSS is my kid too! why should one come b4 the other??? then she got mad bc he was off of work and wasnt babysitting FSD!!! its not his day of visitation!! why should he babysit her just bc he took a day off work? HE IS NOT A BABYSITTER! basically she is trying to make him choose between FSD and everyone else in his life and having a peaceful life. this is where i need help...how can she do this? first, she said i abused her, now shes saying this about FSS...shouldnt we be able to tell someone hey look at what shes saying...doesnt it seem crazy and untrue and how can she do this?? he couldnt bring any of the BS that shes pulled in the past up in mediation. we dont have money for a lawyer...does anyone have suggestions or ideas? is there anything legally we can do? he is now ready to give up custody bc he doesnt want to/cant live w her constant lies, drama and ruining our lives. thats the worst part...hes worried about the future...he knows shes nuts and this will never stop. but it shouldnt have to be like this to see the kid. is there anything we can do to ensure we see FSD w/o dealing w/ all the drama/BS of BM?
- bellacita's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
my FH
will only talk to his ex when it's about his child now...he marks her emails as spam, and will only answer her texts when he feels like it....as for pick ups and drop offs, maybe do it at a public place like Mcdonalds or something? We're also getting to that point. Or move FAR away! LOL....I don't think you'll ever get rid of the drama BM's cause and that sucks...:(
Like the other girls have told me on here, don't let her know it gets to you because that's what they want...and don't give into her bullsh*t...
we do all this
exchanges are at McDonalds, he only talks to her, doesnt answer her texts if they arent important, they only (normally) talk at exchanges. its getting to him this time, im not even the issue. shes lying about his kid. shes demanding that FSD comes b4 his other kids and shes gonna keep lying and accusing one of us of something always. it needs to stop...do u think we can do anything legally, like file a motion or something? so at a loss...
Isn't theresomething criminal
that goes along with falsley accusing someone of abuse? I don't know...I try and ignore all the drama...our BM has slandered me and I've always kept the evidence in case I need to sue her for that..I don't know what to tell ya...these women seem to get away with everything...she's trying to control him, thats what it's all about...she's pissed and jealous cause he has found a NORMAL woman and she hates to see that, so her only ticket to control him is that child...I say let her flap her jaw and manipulate...karma does work in mysterious ways...he can't let her dictate how he treats his other children either...he needs to stand his ground with her.
thats what i was thinking...
this is the 2nd time shes claimed abuse now, first me now FSS15...shes trying to make him choose between FSD and his life, including everyone in it. shes trying to control him definitely. and the fact that it happened the day after mediation??? shes doing it just to try to get as much money as she can from him. but where will it end? will we spend the rest of our lives waiting for her to bring up lies again, to take us to court, to modify custody and go thru all this again? how much will her antics affect our lives? we just want to see the kid and why should the price be giving up a normal life? and wait til WE get married and have kids like we plan...whadday think she'll do then?!
in MN
I am not sure about other states or federal law, but if one parent accuses the other of abuse, sexual or physical, and it is found to be infounded then the accusing parent could loose custody. I think its a safe guard to keep the BS out of the mix. Doesn't mean that won't happen.
Been through this kind of
Been through this kind of thing ourselves. BM had kids go to school and tell lies about us (physical and sexual) and she called DCFS and we all went through the investigation. It was of course all BullS*** and DCFS knew it (they even asked me if I thought BM was mentally ill LOL) and we could have pressed charges but we were told that unfortunately, because the State is so "busy" that nothing would probably come of it. I wish we had done something about it anyway (at the time) especially when BM jumped on the band wagon once the investigation was under way and made up all kinds of sexual allegation against me and my birthson.
I say, if BM keeps pushing it and making allegations against you....don't let her get away with it
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
steppiemary
do u know exactly what we could do to prevent this or what kind of things we could do rite now...like i said this is the second time she has falsely alleged abuse, first me now FSS. i didnt go thru an investigation, she dropped it and we refuse to put FSS thru that just bc of her lies. if we dont stop her now, i fear we will never have a peaceful life and will always be dealing w some sick kind of crap like this.
Bellacita
Is the FSS that was accused of these things the one that lives with you?
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
yes, he lives w us
the nite of the alleged abuse, FSS was not alone w her...she plays in her room and watches movies and he wasnt in there w her. and my fiancee was home the whole nite.
I think maybe BM made the
I think maybe BM made the accusation without thinking it through.
Perhaps she thought that by saying a 15 year old acting this way toward a 2 year old would raise some eyebrows.....because she is a troublemaker and trying to get you all riled up.
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
im sure
shes doing this to try to get what she wants money wise and visitation wise out of him...i think its all scare tactics i think to get what she wants out of mediation. the problem is, we dont want to have to go thru life always having to deal w this kind of thing, and putting our loved ones at risk of HER abuse.
I had the same problem with my FSS
I talked to my daughter's therapist and she said that if these kids are going to be accusing others of abuse that the child should not be left alone with the accused and the bio parent should have the child shadow them, this way if accusations are brought up again you were never left alone with the child so the accusations are bogus right off the bat...
but its our word against hers
she wasnt alone w FSS that nite and she said that. FH even told her i was w her the whoel time and she wasnt alone w him.
Ignore Ignore Ignore BM
She's just trying to stir up trouble....has she tried to get other people (other than you) to believe that these things happened??
Since our BM made (and had SK's make) accusations against myself, DH and birthson we do just like sixxnguns suggested and make sure there's always a "witness".
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
the first time
she alleged abuse against me and filed a motion to modify custody, which is how we got where we are today. as for this, we know she called the mediator, we dont yet know what she said.
At least she uses the mediator
Our BM refuses to go to Mediator...even though the judge told her to.
BM'd rather be as difficult as possible. That, and she knows that we can't afford to keep going to court
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
it was court ordered
if it is, they cant refuse! in MO anyway they have to try to work it out thru mediation b4 it goes to court. if they dont appear, judgment can be entered completely for the other party and they can be held in contempt
It's that way in Illinois too
but it's mostly too much of a hassle....depending on the problem...to pursue in court.
Now if we had a whole boat-load of money to throw around then it would be another story
We'd probably have all 3 SK's living with us instead of just 1 and BM would really have to toe the line LOL
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"