When you marry a man with kids the question of having your own inevitably comes up.

No one can ever answer that question for any couple. It depends on so many things. I will say that it appears to me that having your own kids complicates an already complicated situation, sometimes in good ways and sometimes in not so good ways. It is up to you and your DH to talk it through and make the decision that is best for you and your family.

You ask if having your won kids would make you happier? Are you unhappy now? Kids do bring happiness, but they also bring work and sweat and tears and you will find your life changed in so many ways you'll hardly have time to figure out if you are happy are not.

The best advice I can give you is to make sure that your relationship with your DH is strong and happy. It will be the foundation of all of your children's(skids and bios)lives.

my first biokid two weeks ago and I'm so happy I don't know how to explain it. I've been taking care of my three step kids for four years (neither BM is involved so I'm pretty much it for these kids) and even though I do everything for them that a mom would do there's nothing like having my own baby. Of course the step kids are much older, 14, 13, and 8 and I don't really have a bond to them, but like I said I still do everything for them. But what I feel with my own kid is so different, I'm so glad we decided to have a baby together. I think I was becoming resentful that I was taking care of "everyone elses" kids and wasn't able to feel the love and bond that comes with a biological kid. I'm very glad we made the decision to have kids. Like wildlife said you'll have to evaluate your own situation and home to decide what's best for you! For me and my DH this was a great decision and I'd like one more
Dawn

Hi Avalin: I am pregnant with twins, have two skids, 11 and 12, and one bio daughter, 8. I am very lucky in that the three we have now get along very well, really love each other like siblings. So, we did have the foresight of already having to blend two families when we decided to have babies of our own, but the decision making process is similar. For us, we realized we had gone through the biggest, most rewarding experiences of our lives, having kids, with our exes, but not with each other. We wanted to share that special bond, not only with the new baby, but with each other. There is just nothing like it. As for adding children, that is an issue for any family, bio, steps, or blended. The first children are always going to feel the changes, the shifting of attention, but usually, they grow to love their siblings and the lifelong connection is a great benefit to all of them. If you feel you want to have kids of your own, I say, go for it. You shouldn't deprive yourself of that special love because you already have stepkids. Love grows as you add to a family, there is always enough to go around.

Best of luck!

Hi there. My husband has full custody of his kids. We had a daughter together 2 years ago. The SS and SD welcomed her and have not shown any jealousy whatsoever, so it is do-able. I had an ok relationship with them before my baby arrived but nothing spectacular. I felt like I didn't want to miss out on anything in my daughter's life so I have given her a lot of attention, it's pretty normal to do that, she is biologically my daughter and my first, so it was bound to happen. I can't say that if I paid more attention to the SS and SD it would've done any good and our relationship would probably still be strained with or without my daughter. Hope that makes sense?