I made dh read my last post and the comments(if you don't know, read my last post). He broke down; he agrees that what he's done to ss was wrong and he wants to make amends with ss and start over. Ss is his only son (and only child) and he doesn't want to lose him. Here's the thing, whenever dh enters a room, ss mood and body language  changes. He comes very guarded and hostile or he suddenly remembers that he has something to do, and leaves the room. If Dh tries to show any parental authority, ss gets triggers which results in them aruging, and ALWAYS ends with ss saying that dh had 10 years to be a dad to him and he didn't, so why now or just because he doesn't have any other kids, he not allowed to suddenly remember that ss exist, or Bm was the only parent he ever had, and with her death, he's lost both parents. Dh has cried himself to sleep so many times. He's said that ego costed him his son and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it right (easier said than done though). 

Dh is looking for a therapist for himself  (i'm looking for one too) and wants go to long-term family therapy with ss in order to start the healing the process. Since ss is only 15 years old he technically is a minor, but dh doesn't want to push ss further away than he already is. I would talk to ss, but he just acts like I don't exist, and ss hates dh, so dh talking to him doesn't work either. How are we supposed to help him when he doesn't want to talk to us?

The only person he wants his Bm. I've seen him ball his eyes out while holding a picture of Bm. It really breaks Dh's heart

Any Ideas?