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OT - I screwed up, but can I blame DH anyway?

AllySkoo's picture

Dh and I quit smoking almost 4 months ago. We quit together. This is not the first time we've quit. *sigh* You know where this is going, right?

So I get home from work on Monday, and it was kind of a crap day (just work-related stress) and then the kids were being little monsters and I looked at DH and said, "GOD I want a smoke right now!" Just venting a bit, you know?

And he got the look. That "oh crap I am totally busted, I don't want to actually lie, and I don't want to tell her, what the fuck do I do" look.

Me: You have cigarettes, don't you?
Him: Uh.... maybe.
Me: *sigh* Where?

So I totally stole one of his cigarettes. Then yesterday I stole another. Then I went out and bought a pack.

FUCK!

It's on me, obviously, and I know I fucked up, but it is GODDAMN HARD not to smoke when DH smokes! So can I blame him for this? Just a little bit? Lol

We've agreed to finish the ones we have and then NO MORE. *sigh* I hate quitting smoking.

Comments

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Of course you can blame him. You can blame him for whatever you want but now take ownership and quit again

AllySkoo's picture

Oooo, anything I want? Can I blame him for the horribleness that was Jar Jar Binks? I seriously need someone to blame for that... Wink (Totally kidding!)

Yeppers, we are both quitting again!

AllySkoo's picture

Sally, I NEED to quit. Seriously. Heart disease runs in the family, and I HATE, just hate hate hate, that my not-quite-3 year old son even knows the word "cigarette". It is SO NOT CUTE when he says "cigawet". Nails on a blackboard, it just shreds me. So I will focus on that and quit again! (And I don't want to wait 16 years until he's out of the house! *lol*)

EvilAngel's picture

I have said over and over that I am quitting. It won't happen while that kid is still in my house.

AllySkoo's picture

I'm lucky that my steps are all aged out, so at least I don't have THAT stress!

SD18 may very well live with us again (long story), but for now anyway I have no skids in the house!

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

My parents have quit again (they are in their 60s) this time they used Chantix or whatever it is called.

AllySkoo's picture

Yeah, we used Chantix to quit, it was great! But you're not on it forever, and we'd stopped taking it a couple months ago. Time to go back on...

Ninji's picture

I quit about 6yrs ago. What worked for me was two things

First, I put only the amount of cigarettes into the pack that I was going to smoke that day. Every couple of days I would decrease the amount I started the day with. This allowed me to ration and plan my smoking moments.

Second, I was away from home for 6 weeks for work. Being in a different environment helped. I know, not possible for most people, but you try to recognize your habits and triggers and change up your routine.

Most importantly, You have to be ready. I was. If its not something you really want to do, you probably won't.

But I will say that even after 6 years, sometimes I will see a female smoking and get a longing for a cigarette.

AllySkoo's picture

I've done rationing, and for me anyway, it never worked. Lol I'd take one out and almost always end up smoking it anyway and saying "I'll take one out tomorrow. Just one more day of having this many." I need to go cold turkey.

dood's picture

Try E-ciggs... not the type you get in the convenience store, a real one. Where I live there are vapor "bars" of sorts that you can go to and try all the different products.

HungryEyes's picture

I have had great success with that. I quit for almost a year and was fine. And I even weened off the e-cigg to where I was barely doing anything at all.

Then a bachelorette weekend happened... but the REAL TRUE Vape or Ecigg is what helped me. Not the kind you get a gas station or grocery store but go to a store that specializes in it.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I bought an ecig. When I told my DH he gave me The Look (it'll make you dang near pee yourself). I said "It's either the ecig or I'm buying a bloody pack of REAL ones." The only reason he caved is because 1) I buy juice without nicotine and 2) I don't inhale.

JustAgirl42's picture

I'm with you on this. I quit for 10 years and then met FDH who still smokes. Sad

I've heard it's more addictive than heroin.

AllySkoo's picture

I'd actually quit for about 3 years at one point (while pregnant and having kids). But after the twins were born, I went back to it. (DH actually started smoking again while I was pregnant. BM had a stillborn at 7 months, so my pregnancies were insanely stressful for him.)

Anyway, yeah, even after 3 years I'd still get a mad urge to smoke. One day DH left his pack on the table, I was insanely stressed out from getting sleep only in 30 minute stretches for over 2 days... *sigh*

But, back on the wagon! They have a saying in AA, don't they? Something about forget if you screwed up one day, just start the next day fresh?

JustAgirl42's picture

I only smoke a few a day, but it's still a disgusting habit. I don't kid myself about quitting. I know I'm not ready to quit completely right now, I enjoy it too much. I have to get to the point where I am adamant about it and feel strong enough to follow through. It would be a big help if FDH tried to quit too.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Screw AA. I need to join OA and have the Food Police follow me around knocking bad foods out of my hands.

AllySkoo's picture

YOU! Put the potato chips down and back away slowly! Crap, she's got dip, SHE'S GOT DIP!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Daaaaam-skippy I've got dip!! And it's BEAN DIP!! I'll eat the whole can, I swear I will!!!!

AllySkoo. Hon. You simply canNOT tell me to drop it. KNOCK IT OUT OF MY FAT HANDS!!!!

Monchichi's picture

I stopped smoking on the 17 January this year. I went on to Champix to get me on the right track. I stopped taking Champix on Sunday. In solidarity with you OMG I want a a smoke but haven't caved.

AllySkoo's picture

Gods yes, my kindergartener is the other big reason I need to quit. When we quit in Jan, he was saying the same sort of things, wondering when I was going to die! Out of the mouths of babes, right?

furkidsforme's picture

I switched to the vapes, and that helps... until I'm around someone with REAL cigs. Then I feel like I want one so bad I will die.