kmdb2012's picture

The Big Vent

There are days I feel I can handle it and days I just want to throw in the towel. I feel more and more like throwing in the towel. What stops me, because right now..for this period of time...my bs seems to happy and doesn't want anymore changes in his life.

I have to deal with my husband of 3 years, a ss18, sd16, ss8 by two different bms. I have never in my life met such a group of rude, selfish individuals. I also have a ex husband. Just for the simple fact that I haven't kirked out completely speaks volumes.

I am tired, I am tired of being used, being manipulated, being disrespected, being belittled. I go through moments of being extremely sad to moments of intense anger.

Just even posting on this page has wiped me out. My blogs will have to be short to get my story out a bit at a time.

In a nutshell.....I hate my life.

love_my_shichi's picture

I am so sorry for you. I

I am so sorry for you. I understand. I really really do. It's totally unfair. I hope you find a way out...if that's what you decide. And never look back. Good luck.

sueu2's picture

Consider how you feel. Look

Consider how you feel. Look at what you posted. Determine if your life, the circumstances, and your feelings are likely to ever change if you stay. Then, ask yourself what good mommy in this condition does for your son.

Please don't blame your son that you are stifled and unable to make the hard decision. It is way too heavy a burden for him to bear. What you're essentially saying is "being used, being manipulated, being disrespected, being belittled" and being so unhappy and depressed are all his fault because you endure it for his sake. That's not being fair to him when moving will not impact him nearly so severely as staying impacts you, which means you are unable to be the best mommy for him that you can be by staying. He would not want his mommy to feel this way or treated this way. Anywhere and any relationship that does those things to you and has you feeling like this is no place for either of you to be.

I know how it feels to have so much burden that you hardly know where to begin. But, please do begin. The best way to start is at the beginning. You will be able to wade through the mind-boggling confusion because you're organizing your thoughts from the very start.

racey80's picture

Holy Moly love! These sound

Holy Moly love! These sound like some poisonous relationships you have going here. I recommend focusing on yourself and your BS, also whatever makes you happy, will mak BS happy.

Eradicate the negative energy in your life, let hubby sort his own children out, you actually don't owe them a thing.

Please search up disengaging on this site, I really think it is what you need.

DO NOT be a door mat to be abused whenever these people feel the impulse, do you want your son to grow and assimilate to this kind of behaviour?

As we say in NZ "Kia Kaha" Stay Strong. Smiling

I'm a good person.