Ex blew BD off again. This time when he was supposed to give her her bday presents.
Well he's outdone himself this time. Granted in the last five to six months he has seen her a total of two times for a grand total of five hours even though he has asked for his supervised visitation countless times and just never shows up.
The day before yesterday he asked to see her on Tuesday. I let him know that was fine and DH would drop her off after school. I guess when DH got to my Ex's mother's house, where my ex has his supervised visitation, my BD told him that daddy was going to bring her her bday presents. (Her bday 8th was last Wednesday.) She was really excited.
Guess who didn't show up yet again? That's right my Ex. I talked to her last night about it and she told me that she feels sad when he says he's going to be there and then just doesn't show up. I told her that it's not her fault and to never think it is her fault. That daddy just has some things that he needs to work on right now.
I am so sick of his BS. He's hurting her and he doesn't even care. I think that I am going to utilize my EAP and get her into some counseling to see how she's coping with all of this. She's such a little trooper and acts like it doesn't bother her when I know it does. I'm so worried about how this is all going to effect her when she gets older.
Thanks god she has DH in her life. He treats her like she's his own for the most part and I think she really needs that right now.
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That's so sad. I'm so sorry
That's so sad. I'm so sorry she has to deal with a deadbeat father. All you can do is reinforce that his behavior has nothing to do with her and try and make her feel loved by you and your DH.
Your ex will get his in the long run. Karma is a bitch...
Thanks RedWingsFan. I am
Thanks RedWingsFan. I am actually in the porcess of speaking with a lawyer to modify the CO so that our BD doens't have so many ups and downs of anticipating his requested visitation. I'm not sure what his plan is but he wants to meet with me to discuss it.
It just makes me want to cry. Our BD is such a sweet heart. She does so well in school and is kind to everybody. Well almost everybody. She still has issues with SD due to the way she treated her for so long.
It just kills me inside to think that his behavior can cause serious issues with her later on down the road. It could ruin her.
Good luck with the attorney
Good luck with the attorney and changing the CO. No kid should have to go through that. I feel horrible putting my DD (now 14) thru the crap I did for so long when I was with my 2nd ex husband. She finally got fed up with moving all the time and having to adjust to a new school every year, she moved in with her dad in Michigan. I only get to see her during holiday breaks and summer now. My fault, I fucked up. Long story and lots of horrible circumstances.
Now, I've been stable and in Colorado for 2 yrs and she sees that I'm happy and in a healthy, loving relationship and loves my DH. I can't undo what she's been through, but it has affected her. She's become a stronger person and very mature for her age.
I can only hope the same for your DD. That she comes out a stronger and more mature individual and learns not to take shit from her dad or anyone else. I know my DD doesn't!
I truly feel for you and your girl. That's just so sad.
OR at the very least I would
OR at the very least I would NOT agree to go and take her or tell her about the visits at grandmas until your ex is THERE and CALLS YOU from his mothers house so you KNOW he will be there.
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Great idea. I think that I'll start doing that.
I quit telling her a long
I quit telling her a long time ago. Her grandmother is the one always telling her and even if I asked her to stop she probably wouldn't. I think she wants so badly for her son to man up and be a father that she lives in denial and actually thinks that today is the day where he changes his behavior. Can't blame her. She loves her son but it is upsetting when she is damaging her grand daughter with her denial.
I think that's what the
I think that's what the lawyer has in mind as far as changing visitation. He's mother doesn't have a land line but if he called from her cell that would mean that she was with him which means she's at home. I think it's a great idea.
I don't tell her. Either her
I don't tell her. Either her grandmother or father do. I quit telling her a while ago.