You are here

BM has fled with my SS! Please help!

stepmom1183's picture

:jawdrop:

My husband has sole physical custody. On a whim, the BM decided while my ss was with her for her summer visitation that she wanted custody and child support. The last standing order of the court awards my husband with sole physical custody and bm having visitation. She informed my husband via text not to bother coming to pick up my ss and that she was keeping him until we went to court. We went as scheduled to pick up my ss and she is no where to be found. My husband has been trying to contact her to speak with my ss for over a week now. The lawyers are telling us we can't do shit about it until a judge orders her to return my ss to my husband. Is that right?? We can't do anything?? She is in contempt of court and has fled!! We have no idea if my ss in safe, is he ok? For all we know they could be in a ditch some where!! Please help!!

Comments

stepmom1183's picture

Wouldn't our lawyers have advised us to call the police?? We were thinking that. We are thinking it is kidnapping and they should be hunting her ass down! We will be speaking with the lawyers first thing in the a.m. This all happened over Friday and the weekend. Another issue is she is in New Mexico and we in Texas. Do we call the police here or there or both? We just can't understand how the lawyers are telling us we can't do a damn thing until the judge says so! That doesn't make any sense!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

You already have a court order, right? So call the police. Show them the court order. File a missing persons report, and a kidnapping report. If she crosses state lines with him, it becomes a federal offense. Prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.

stepmom1183's picture

We took the papers with us to the sheriff's department on Friday. The first set of officers we talked to said they couldn't enforce the order without a current order from the judge? The next set of officer's said they could offer a civil assist when we went to pick up my ss to ensure there were no problems but also could not enforce it. And yes, this custody agreement has been into effect for over 2 years. It is the last and most recent order signed by the judge. Every where we go for help they are telling us we cant do anything until we go to court. It's ridiculous! Basically the order isn't worth the paper it's written on. That can't be right. Our plan was to call the lawyers in the morning and find out for sure and ask why we can't file a missing person's report and get an amber alert out on my ss. Our hope of course is that we can file a missing person's report and they hunt her ass down, get my ss to my husband, and throw her in jail for contempt of court and kidnapping!

stepmom1183's picture

I agree tiredprincess09. The lawyers have said that she is in contempt but are telling us we have to wait? I don't get it. The current order should stand! Thank you. The morning cannot come soon enough! We need answers and we need to know what we can do now. Surely we can do something immediately without waiting to go to court! BM should be held accountable now, not when and if we get court! We need to know where my ss is and if he is ok.

doll faced sm's picture

Since everyone insists you have to wait for court, file for an emergency hearing.

DASKRA's picture

Ask for a supervisor because it is kidnapping call her state and yours. It's signed by a judge then its an order. Good luck.

FML's picture

And lastly, if the police refuse to get involved, contact the media ASAP about how the police refuse to look for a missing child that could possibly be in danger. Contact anyone you can think of media wise in your area. That will light a fire under their asses.

DASKRA's picture

This.

Lalena75's picture

Take these steps if your child's other parent has abducted your child or is denying you access to your child:

1. If your child has been abducted by the other parent, call the police immediately. Then file a Missing Child Report.

2. Gather all your legal documentation, including custody orders, divorce papers and visitation agreements.

3. Contact Child Find's CAPSS program at 1-800-A-WAY-OUT (1-800-292-9688).
You don't know where this child is, you don't know if the child is safe but you know who took him file emergency order and missing child asap. Keep riding the police in your and her state. This IS a missing child.

stepmom1183's picture

We don't understand it either. Our first and only concern is my ss. The attorney in NM said there wasn't anything we could do bc the custody laws there are so wishy washy and full of loop holes. We still don't understand why we can't go to the police. This is all insane and does not make one bit of sense. We are struggling today trying to get help. The way the attorney made it sound is that we can't do shit until court and the judge cannot act on his own to enforce the custody order. It is maddening! We went Friday to pick up my ss. Also, it being a Friday attorney's offices close early and judges cut out too. I even tried contacting the judge himself. That got me as far as the phone call to ask. But it was worth a shot. We went to the sheriff's office twice to try and get help. All they would offer was a civil assist.?? We went to the bm's house, she was gone. All we have is a report from the sheriff's office that we attempted to pick up my ss and she wasn't home. The attorney said this can be used against her when we go to court, but cannot help us now????? Contempt of Court is a criminal and an arrestable offense. Yet, the sheriff's office won't pursue??? My husband has been trying to call and contact my ss since last Sunday. He told us where he was, not exactly, but was going to be home the following day. The bm knew we were coming to pick him up. The day before we left, the bm sent my husband a text stating she was keeping my ss until court and don't bother coming to pick him up. We said, like hell you are and went as scheduled to pick him up. And here we are... no one will help us.

stepmom1183's picture

Thank you very much for the information. I wish you were here and we could hire you! All of this is insane. In a failed attempt at calling the lawyer, I have sent him an email asking him to act on the suggestions you gave. I hope he will get back to us fast so we can find my ss. We also have a lawyer here in Texas that we will ask the same thing of. She is in court all morning and will be calling us as soon as she is done. Hopefully, between two attorneys we can make something happen now. Again, I can't thank you enough for your advice. I will post any updates as soon as they happen.

stepmom1183's picture

Thank you, thank you... I read your message and thanks. Yes, we are both very upset. We feel helpless.

herewegoagain's picture

Call the police. NOW

Even though BM had custody, when she disappeared without leaving a forwarding address they police showed up at her house. We had no idea she was even moving, he called and nobody answered for days...The police did not play around and immediately showed up at her place. They called us and told us the house was empty and it looked like they had left...they talked to neighbors, etc...and DH didn't even have custody. If your DH has custody and BM has done this, the police WILL track her ass down.

stepmom1183's picture

Thank you to everyone for their advice and suggestions. We are having a problem bc apparently the custody laws in New Mexico are so lax and are full of loop holes and what not. We are dumbfounded. We have taken the advice of dog person and have contacted our attorney in New Mexico and are awaiting the reply. We are also awaiting the call from our attorney here in Texas upon her completion of court this morning. If we cannot get help thru the attorney's we WILL be going straight to the police regardless. I will keep up with updates as they happen. Again, thanks to all of you!

stepmom1183's picture

We don't know if we can pursue kidnapping or missing person's report bc of the custody laws in NM, which currently has jurisdiction. We also don't know if this will be custodial interference or kidnapping. My husband talked to my ss last Sunday. We went to pick him up as scheduled on Friday and all of this happened.

stepintexas's picture

I agree. You stated ya'll are in Texas, that is where the Amber alert came about... and it is usually taken very seriously here. I would be up at the police station and tell them you fear for the childs life...that is a primary concern, the custody is secondary!!!!

stormabruin's picture

Regardless of the questions in details (what to file it as), CALL THE POLICE! They are the ones who will be able to direct you in what action you need to take next.

It's important that you get a report on file ASAP. She's had plenty of time to make contact & has chosen not to. She's done it against the order.

Lawyers are only concerned with court. Police are concerned with missing children.

No WAY would I be a week out & still wondering where my child is...especially on time I was responsible for custody...& not have had the police involved.

stepmom1183's picture

Smile UPDATE! Our attorney here in Texas will be filing for jurisdiction as we simultaneously file a missing person's report. The attorney in NM has contacted the bm's attorney for her client to produce my ss in 24 hours or face felony criminal charges. We have heard from my ss. He is ok. However the bm, has refused to disclose their location. The strategy of the attorney's is very promising. Looks like we will be pursuing criminal charges on the bm and get my ss back to us. Will keep updating as things happen. Thanks again to everyone for the advice, opinions, and concern! I am grateful to everyone.