Fading's picture

Thursday's Meeting

Well, yesterdays meeting went well, but not as expected. We all voiced our opinions, feelings and thoughts regarding SD7. It sounds as though SD's SF is giving an ulimatium: either SD leaves and gets help, or he leaves all together. BM was in tears the whole time and kept saying she didn't understand why her daughter was so messed up. DH was quiet until it came to his turn to voice himself. I was flabbergasted. DH said that he is to the point that he hates her. Cannot stand her. The reason he 'spoils' her is to keep her happy so she doesn't hurt anyone. He is afraid that she will hurt me. We talked about SD and her behavior for a good 2 hours straight. BM and DH cried and cried. SF and I couldn't, we have gotten to the point that we don't care enough about her to cry, we are just worried for our and our dependants lives. I know it is cruel to say, but I couldn't be farther from caring.

The therapist recommended doing some serious in-home rehab before jumping straight for the asylum bandwagon. So here is the plan:

-Remove all her toys, movies, games, etc.
-In her bedroom, she is only to have a bed, 1 lamp and a dresser.
-Her bed will consist of 1 solid color basic comforter and solid color sheets. Acceptable colors are black, white or brown.
-Her clothes will be 6 standard tshirts, 1 standard button up dress shirt. 3 pairs of basic jeans, 2 pairs of basic shorts, 1 pair of dress slacks. 7 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of underwear.
-Clothes cannot have any prints, design or colors other than black, white, navy blue or brown. No name brands.
-No television unless it is an educational program through the public television network.
-No friends over and no going over to friends.
-Chores will be complete in a timely fashion.
-Bedtime is 8PM to 6AM. No excuses.
-If necessary all doors will be locked except rooms she will need access to.
-She must bath without help. Brush her teeth without help.
-SD will brush her own hair and only either a ponytail, simple braid or hair down is acceptable.

These are just a few of the rules we will be going by. It is basically like sending her to military school and allowing her to only have the basic things she NEEDS. The therapist is going to come by two days a week to observe for the first 4 weeks. If there is no change in behavior, he will schedule a formal testing for mental illnesses and we will go from there.

Dr. said that this will be a deciding factor on whether she is a severely spoiled and under-disciplined child or if she has an actual mental disorder. I like the idea a lot and hopefully a change will spring, unfortunately I think she is a solid sociopath as Dr had previously mentioned. He just wants to rule out all possiblities of actual behavior issues that could cause her actions.

So here goes nothing. We start immediately on Sunday with her first visitation after the meeting. I already cleared everything out and have it stowed away where no one can get to it.


Fading's picture

And for those of you who feel

And for those of you who feel it may be necessary to tell me how horrible I am, please take a moment and read some of my previous blogs and understand why SD is in dire need of drastic measures.

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bi's picture

yes maam, money is always the

yes maam, money is always the answer. Eye-wink

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

bi's picture

thank you, maam! now where's

thank you, maam! now where's the rest of it? Laughing out loud

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

smdh's picture

LMAO!

LMAO!

Fading's picture

This thread made me laugh my

This thread made me laugh my ass off. LoL.

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Fading's picture

Well, I did tell DH last

Well, I did tell DH last night after the meeting that if all else fails, I'm sending her to live with Tom Cruise so she can join that Scientology school Smiling She'd fit in perfectly.

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Fading's picture

BM starts it at her house

BM starts it at her house today. And we've gotten everything all cleared out at ours but she won't be there until Sunday. SD does know about it. After the meeting, the therapist spoke with her and we all explained what was going to happen. She wasn't very happy about it, but didn't seem to show any emotion as far as crying, whining or anything. She just raised her eyebrow and said "Yeah ok".

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Fading's picture

She's already batshit

She's already batshit crazy....I don't want to imagine anything worse than she already is. Puzzled

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Fading's picture

That was in the 'rule book'.

That was in the 'rule book'. She is to have nothing fancy or any fast food or junk food. They are also taking gluten out of her diet to see if that helps. So I have to learn a whole new cookbook Smiling

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Shaman29's picture

There are a lot of gluten

There are a lot of gluten free options. Coconut flour is one. Also look into Bob's Red Mill, they have several gluten free items you can order online.

You have been put through the ringer. DH's kid (d16) has also put me through the ringer, though not to the extent as your SD. I nearly left DH, so the fact you're sticking this out gets all of my respect.

Please keep us posted.

Oh....and you're NOT a horrible person. Anyone that says otherwise is lacking compassion and brains.

I sincerely hope this method works.

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
Roddy Piper

smdh's picture

Protecting your own children

Protecting your own children is not horrible. Personally, I believe this is a vent site with room for constructive advice. While some people come across as simply hateful because they don't want to share their SO with a child, most of the women here are people who are loving and really have a tough time reconciling their distaste for a small child with who they are at their core. Noone gets to decide what is appropriate unless they've lived in your house and experienced what has put you where you are. These blogs are small excerps of much bigger lives, experiences and backgrounds and it would do some people well to realize that.

I think you're a saint for giving this one last ditch effort. Sounds like the doc has a plan and at least recognizes that this child might be ill.

Fading's picture

She's been through two

She's been through two schools at this point, and the second one threatened to toss her out at the end of the year. The last thing I want to do is attempt to home school this kid.

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bearcub25's picture

The 'Mental Health Pros' and

The 'Mental Health Pros' and I am using that turn only b/c it says so on the building have done NOTHING like this is in regards to my SS12. SO has asked them to basically redo his DX and meds and they say they can't.....taking 4 meds and no improvement??? No IEP even though he has been kicked out of 2 schools at 3rd and 5th grade. They did do 2 10day outpatient programs and on the papers they sent home every day it said.....Antagonizes peers, will not listen to authority figures etc....NO SHIT, why they think he was sent there.

I give props to your DH, BM, SF and you for being willing to try this for anothre 4 weeks.

Good Luck.

notthemomma880's picture

Can you send your fur and

Can you send your fur and feathered friends to foster homes for the four weeks? I'm sorry, but I wouldn't trust her to be in the same house with them. They have no voice.

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I'm not responsible for fixing something I didn't break.

Fading's picture

She will only be at our place

She will only be at our place on Thursdays and Sundays (like usual) and I have arranged to be home on Thursdays so that I can watch the furries and featheries. I would send them to my sister's house and she'd probably take them but she just had a baby on Wednesday night so I don't want to overburden her Smiling

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