mission007's picture

Who should be looking after SDers while they're on holidays!!!

Sooooo so so so sos..ha.SOS..haha freaking happy I found this site!! Yahoo7 sux shit!! The people on there are so effing depressing..lol!
Let's get too it...

Once upon a time when I was a young 'know it all' with all the experience and wisdom in the world... I took on a pre-made family..haha. At 19 years of age I fell in love with a(then)lovely but heart broken 24 year old man who was recovering from a whore who went and fell pregnant while out clubbing (a year before we actually got together.) Together they had two daugthers (then aged 3 and 5). Not to mention she also has an older child from a previous relationship before their two, so she's been around the block quite a few times and is known as a slut.
I'm now 24 and share BD1 and BS1month with DH29 who has SD9 and SD7.. Fhew!

Just wish I knew then what I know now./././.(Love that saying)
Don't get me wrong I was totally warned not only by my Dad (poor dad..lol) but also my Dad's brother who I know as player of the century!! He has no children and never has relationships for this reason (and maybe other reason too but hey..lol).. The single life suits him perfectly and he what I now see as an experienced but caring uncle looking out for his neice. He sure sences a 'no good man' when he meets one. Gave my boyfriend so much shit and questioned him about his previous relationship and children openly at MY family events. I couldn't take it and pratically fought my entire family that night pushed them all away to be in this situation! God.. what was I thinking!!!!!Ha. Thought I was doing my part in the world taking a broken family in... blah blah blah blah..

Anyway cut a long story short (sorta)..I can not stand how DH puts SD'ers needs before ours! We are having the biggest relationship breakdown because of finance issues, lies and his fuked up ways of no communication about these skids..it's driving me insane. We need to talk but he's too busy. Works full fuckin time and get's me to watch them while he's a work and their on holidays with me! I'd take them out and spoil these two rotten with MY OWN money. I was step mother of the year well few years.. did so much for these two because I actually did feel love for them until they started changing. BM brainwashing them into brats..it's unbelievable how they speak to me and DH now. And now I've come to figure that I'm just some babysitter for DH n BM! Like wtf is that!! BM knows very well DH works full time too and says things like 'I need a break too'. Why can't DH take his effen holidays when he gets them! I've talked to him bout it and he thinks I'm now turning them away. I just had enough and said they should be with BM because YOUR NOT WITH THEM!! They come here becasue of YOU..not ME!

But NOOOOOOO he went against my wishes and is now staying at his mothers house with SD'ers WHILE HE GOES TO WORK! He says he doesn't want to push them away for they are family as much as our kids. This house is full of his lazy unemployed siblings that just smoke pot and do Eff all.. I feel so disrespected and don't know where to go from here.. They're all probably having the biggest run down session about me being a C*%t to SD'ers.. and I'm not at all a bad person.. so hurtful he's done this!!


Manymoments's picture

You just need to say no and

You just need to say no and stick to it, If he isnt putting your feelings and thought, wants and needs into consideration then DISENGAGE.

Look after your own kids and leave his to him.

Learn ot say NO or sorry doesnt suit me your'll have to make other arrangements.

He is emotionally blackmailing you into feeling guilty for something you dont have to feel guilty for.
His kids , his responsibilty.

Dont look after them - He can take time off or arrange childcare
Buy them stuff - then they will moan to him that they want stuff intead of you.
Dont do there washing - wont it be funny when he realises all there clothes are filthy
Dont get involved in the BM drama - he slept with her , its now his problem.
Leave DH to disapline them - say NOT ONE WORD. You teach your bios whats wrong and whats right and leave him to stuff up his own kids.

Problem is your up against " DADDIES LITTLE PRINCESS" trust me I have one too! They will always be at the top of his priorty list because he feels guilty.

-------------------------> I just had enough and said they should be with BM because YOUR NOT WITH THEM!! They come here becasue of YOU..not ME!<----------------------

EXACTLY! ^^^^^^ but because you have his other children he expects you to love and treat the SDs like your own.

He needs a wake up call that your not there mother or his and BMs babysitter. if they are not with him and you dont want to have them then they should be with the BM. End of story!

Hi! I am Manymoments - why? - Because I have MANYMOMENTS of thinking " What the hell was I thinking becoming a STEPMUM!!"

My true religion is kindness - Dalai Lama
He obviously never had a stepkid.....

mission007's picture

The Dalai Lama quote cracked

The Dalai Lama quote cracked me up..LOL! My true religion is kindness - 'He obviously never had a step kid'..LOL. OMG.. made my day! Because DH actually wentto his show last year boasting about how wise this man is...lol.

You know what.. that is exactly what he does! We are the very bottom of his priorities and his job n his girls are at the very very top! Sometimes I feel like he's trying to impress his big loud mouthed slutry ex. He gets all defensive about money with me, but yet she calls to ask him pay for all their school fees and school books and BAMMM!! it's in her pocket without an argument. She has the biggest and loudest mouth that I've ever heard in my life! When he's on the fone to her it's like she's on loud speaker.. no joke!

Another thing that pisses me off is the comparing bullshit. I think he's noticed now that I don't really buy SDs as much as I used to. What ever our BD has, he feels SD's have to have too. For example.. I went out and bought my BD then only 6 months a brand new addidas outfit for a sport carnival. DH picks SD's up to have the day with us and SD's looked like they were homeless (ripped shorts, stained tshirts, hair not brushed.. seriously sad but not my problem. How embarrassing to have them walk near me like i'm the mother, they so would have not looked like that if I was thier mother!
Anyway DH doesn't even compliment our BD and gives me and BD a filthy look... like WTF.. a 6 month old baby a dirty look from her own daddy!! The next day we went to the shops and what do ya know... he rips out his wallet and goes into the sports shop and says pick what you's want to SD's!!! They grabbed two outfits each so I insisted he too buy BD another outfit too. He replied.. she gets enough! Yeah right...from ME!! I couldn't pick out in this room right now what he has bought for BD. It's really sad!