FigNewton's picture

Husband going on vacation with grown daughter...not me, his wife of 2 years

I have been married two years to a man with 5 grown children. My relationships with each one of them is very different but can be summed up by saying that our interactions are awkward and they continue to be disrespectful, unthoughtful and rude to me. But I am writing today to ask for advice on a particular tough situation that I am dealing with. My husband had always "promised" to take his daughter on a vacation to a particular place. His ex-wife would never agree to a family vacation to this particular place, so they never went. Now his daughter is in her mid-20s and married and next week going on that vacation...just the two of them. Mind you, my husband and I aren't going on vacation this year. Nope. Just his daughter and him are going on the vacation. From the minute they started planning this, I expressed my disappointment and frustration to him about this vacation. It didn't matter. His fatherly guilt about promises unfilled were more valuable to him that my feelings. And truly if I knew that this trip would erase all of his fatherly guilt, then I would be packing his suitcase for him. But I know that isn't going to happen. His fatherly guilt will return on the plane with him. He gave her a good childhood, he gave her an expensive wedding, he has been a good dad. But honestly, she is a married working grown woman going on vacation (that he is paying for) with her father. And my husband, although he says he understands where I am coming from, is still going on this trip. It's like he could never stand up to his ex-wife about this trip but he has no problem disrepecting my feelings. He keeps saying he is sorry that I am hurting but it doesn't matter...I am still hurting.

sandye21's picture

The closest word I found to

The closest word I found to insectual is 'insectival': "pertaining to, or resembling an insect." The closest thing I could find on the Intenet was the article 'Bug Beings and Mantis Men'. But then, when I think of the habits of the Praying Mantis, there ARE certain similarities when it comes to SD and DH. They DO bite off their heads, don't they? LOL

StepAside's picture

Sounds like a Bug Carnival.

Sounds like a Bug Carnival. I like bumble bees!!! Can I be one?


20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

LOL. You can get off

LOL. You can get off your soap box now. Thanks for the advice, we were managing quite well without your holier than thou input.

71smurfs's picture

lets see you always feel like

lets see you always feel like second best no matter what you do. you not got a good friend go on holiday the day he is due back leave him a note saying my friend invited me didn't want to spoil your holiday by bringing it up see you in a week. then go have a good time might make him think twice.