No, I suppose it would be too much to ask to get a little gratitude for everything I've done to make it so that DH can finally have a semi-normal relationship with his children. Due to my prompting and coaching, DH is finally learning how to be an assertive father. Consequently, his children have more respect for him.
This weekend has been going good for them.
When I came into this situation these kids were on the path to being total psychopaths. Who knows, maybe they still will be. The difference is that they are NOT climbing the walls in MY home. Which tells me that they are capable of understanding and behaving in appropriate ways.
The whole time I've been coaching these people on how to establish boundaries and expectations for kids, they fought me tooth and nail. By "they," I mean my DH and his sick parents. My in-laws undermined every single effort I made to help those kids learn a different way of living life. They bad-mouthed me to my DH, calling me an "evil step-mom." MIL even said to me once, "We've been doing things this way for 40 years, I don't know who you are to think you can come along and change things now." My response? "Well, your way sucks. Your way needs to be changed. I'm surprised you would defend 'your way' as superior on the same day that those kids have reigned terror on everyone under this roof. YOUR home has been damaged -- because of YOUR way. YOUR property has been damaged and stolen -- because of YOUR way. Those children have disrespected and shit on every single person in this family -- because of YOUR way. And you seriously think I'm the problem?? Lady, you've got some serious sick-ass issues."
MIL convinced my DH, 5 months after marrying, that he needed to divorce me -- because of how "horrible" I am to his children.
So, as some of you may remember: this is the first weekend DH has had the twins together since we moved into our own home (we used to live with the in-laws).
Oh gee, the kids aren't climbing all over my furniture. They aren't damaging my property. They aren't running around like wild animals. They aren't fighting. They aren't being disrespectful to the people between these walls.
Essentially, they are acting "normal."
Seriously, it's too much to ask to get a little gratitude from these people instead of making me out to be some asshole evil step-mom?
I guess so.
All I know is that if the skids can continue to behave this well in our home, then I will have managed to accomplish for these children what ALL OF THE ADULTS in their lives weren't able to accomplish.
Yeah, I'm the problem. *eye roll*
I'm trying to not be bitter, but it's hard.