staying calm's picture

MIL's, do they really mean well?

MIL has a couple of really bad habits that she has developed since FDH and I moved in together about 2 years ago. 1). She has started "showing up" at our house. All hours of the day. Only on weekedays thank god when she know's I'm not there. Now I know this is new because when FDH and SD7 lived in their apt I joined them with inlaws for a party and FDH commented that this was only the second time in 10 years that they had been to his place.
2). When she comes to our house she "cooks" and "cleans". She makes these bread and meat pies that DH likes and also pasta, just plain, dry pasta cooked in a pot for SD7. We have been fighting with SD7 over what she eats and have been making real progress. Until I came on the scene she was eating corn, and cheerios. THAT"S IT!! But at grandma's house she still only eats dry pasta. And MIL always finds something that needs to be cleaned. Now my house is not my mother's, where you could eat off the floor, but it's also not a house from horders!! It's just a normal house. Yes if you pick up the microwave you will find some crumbs. And I'll bet if you look under the sink you'll find something that needs to be wiped up. But something about it absolutly drives me crazy!! I know she was there, and I know my house stinks from frying meat pies, and I know SD7 ate her body weight in pasta at 4:00 so she won't eat dinner, but she'll be hungry at bedtime....I tried letting FDH know but he is so clueless about why this would be upsetting... Any advice?

LaMareOssa's picture

lol My MIL came into our

lol My MIL came into our house when we were in Canada on a vacation one time...My bathroom floor had been completely tiled and cleaned. She told DH this : Your bathroom garbage can was dirty in the bottom, Lamareossa should clean better, and by the way, we had to pull your toilet to set the tile and under your toilet(where the sewer drain is with the wax ring to seal the toilet sits) was FILTHY, Your wife needs to do better"

Yeah Bitch..I should PULL my toilet and reset it to clean my bathroom on a regular basis. Go choke somewhere.


My MIL complained alot because my house is messy. Yep..damn straight, I have a husband, 3 kids and two gets messy. Our house is lived in, unlike yours. And I also cant afford a maid like you, either.

~Stop whining and find something to do~

~It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings~

dtzyblnd's picture

I used to get upset at my

I used to get upset at my MIL. I thought she was doing all this WIFEY stuff to show me that she was number one woman. In reality, she was USED to doing it because that's what DH had allowed her to do, take care of everything for him. Yes, truly a man in his 30s whose mom paid his bills, made his appointments, practically raised his son, so he could work. That's how his family was.

I'm good with her now. Habits are hard to break, so when she says things like 'make sure....' or 'thank you for taking care of DH and SS for me'....I don't get cringy and upset. She's really a sweet lady, and she's trying very very hard to let go.

MY MOTHER on the other hand, the woman I swear has OCD (or CDO)!
I go into massive cleaning craze two days prior to her coming to visit, even though you
could eat off my floors, I just need to do it!

And it doesn't matter, as soon as Mom gets into my home, she's got a sponge in her hand. SIGH.

I love my mother, I really do, but the CLEANING THING! ARGH! It's been that way since I could remember, so it's something I just let go.

If anyone wants a house guest that has OCD, let me know. My mom is awesome wicked! She makes mean margaritas, loves watching kids, especially the unruly ones (thinks she can fix all kids), AND yes, she will clean your entire house, your animals, your cars, mow the lawn, prune the bushes, and cook!

You can only borrow her though, I need her back eventually when I go on my next 'mommy strike' LOL

Stephen King has ruined your step children!
Telling the truth is not bullying.
Own your shit or get off the pot!

just.his.wife's picture

Me first! Me first!! I want

Me first! Me first!!

I want to see these kids attempt to do their chores to an OCD cleaners idea of clean! Muhahahaha!

Seriously, your mom is welcome ANY time Smiling

Not claiming the skids anymore, I am just his wife.