lboothe's picture

Why? Why? Why??

For the past 10 years i have raised my stepson with the help of his father. You see, my husband has had full custody of his son since he was 2 yrs old. Now at 14 yrs old, why is it that he doesn't show me respect? I don't understand? How does his mother, who only sees him every other weekend, always seem to be placed on a pedestal? I don't understand. Does it take longer for him to realize who has done everything for him? Or, will this never happen??? HELP!!

lboothe's picture

I would say 50% of the time

I would say 50% of the time his father will but 50% of the time his father thinks i can take care of it on my own. I totally agree that his father should discipline him even if i disciplined him myself.

overworkedmom's picture

I agree with Mazzy. He is a

I agree with Mazzy. He is a teenager and they are disrespectful by nature. He also feels safe enough that you aren't going to quit on him, he can rebel but know that you are there. I know that it must be terribly frustrating to be treated this way and you DO NOT deserve it. Your DH really has to step up and get him to slow his roll and show you respect though!

PS- I am thoroughly convinced at this point that the shittier the BM the higher the pedestal! That is the only explanation I can come up with...

HelpMeeeee's picture

It takes someone with a

It takes someone with a strong mind of their own to see their own reality. He may not be allowed to recognize you or he may suffer mental or other punishment from BM.

We are custodial too and BM spends any time she gets with the skids to alienate them from
the outside. She'll tell them I'm nothing, dust, etc, but they do not treat me like that, which may change when they are adults.

I would probably take him for a ride and talk to him about it. Does he really want to grow into a man without regard for the people who have been there for him and made such sacrifices for him. Find out what he thinks, at least you will know where you stand.

imthewife's picture

Dad needs to enforce the

Dad needs to enforce the respect...but teens are creepy.

My SD was a doll until she hit about 15 and she came to live with us full time...then she became the beast...

Hang in there...may I suggest college away from home...it's been GRAND!